lyndaaxo Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I'll start with a little background to this. My female housemate used to live with another girl, but when her boyfriend needed a place to live she invited him there too. Her friend couldn't deal with living with a couple as she was going through a bad breakup and moved out (giving not much notice). My friend then said the room would be available as she knew I was looking to move back to the area, I accepted as I knew both her and her boyfriend separately I wouldn't be bothered living with a couple. I'm not officially on the tenancy, just those two, but we pay equal rent, bills, and tidy up after ourselves. I tend to keep to myself a lot of the time anyway. Fast forward a few months and they now have a puppy. Once they told me they were getting one I said I didn't want to do any of the cleaning up or training etc as it wasn't my dog. They said they wouldn't expect me to. Its been going well except for when they go out, she works shifts and he works mostly 9-5, when they leave the dog in the kitchen with a baby gate on the door. Every time the dog is left in the kitchen she does her business everywhere. I've cleaned it up a few times but like I initially said I don't think its fair. This seems to be almost every day now and its getting to the point where I don't want to cook food because its so disgusting. I've mentioned it to them before but the puppy is only a couple of months old so is still learning, which is pretty much the response I get, and I don't want to anger them as I don't 'officially' live there. Personally I don't think its hygienic to leave a dog in the kitchen in the first place, but there's nowhere else really, and she's not in there all day, just a few hours, but its enough to turn it into a right state. I really don't know what to do now! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Move. What other options are there? They are the official tenants. I am an animal person but agree with you, that's disgusting & not your responsibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lyndaaxo Posted December 19, 2014 Author Share Posted December 19, 2014 I can't afford to move out. I have no one else I can move in with (NOT doing the living with strangers thing again - so much worse!) and unfortunately I can't afford my own place as much as I'd love to. I love animals too, but she's not my dog, I don't mind doing it now and then but you should've seen the state the kitchen was this time! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 If you can't move, you have to assume they aren't going to change. I'd rather take responsibility for letting the dog out then cleaning up after it. Also try taking picture of the mess before you clean it. Then show the photos to your friends & ask for a rent abatement. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I'm not officially on the tenancy, just those two, but we pay equal rent, bills, and tidy up after ourselves. <edit> , and I don't want to anger them as I don't 'officially' live there. Yes, you DO officially live there! Unless you have a different address for your mail, driver's license, passport, etc., etc. You're just not registered on the lease/rental agreement, is all; does not mean you don't have any say in what goes on in the household. Do you have someone with whom you can go and spend a week, or even a few week-days (when both of them are working)? It doesn't matter what "reason" you can come up with, for doing that. But, arrange it so that one of them comes home to the mess. Or even. Take up piano lessons after work, or tennis, or ceramics classes, or yoga? Just don't be the first one home every day, is the gist of it. Hang out at the library, or bookstore? Even if it's a temporary inconvenience, with any luck, it'll prove worth it for the long-term. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I had bad roommates that got a dog and it was the end of us. Your complaints so far really aren't that bad. The dog is a puppy and needs time to be house trained. I realize you don't want to take part in training the dog, but it will be difficult for you to live there and not have some hand in training him. I would just grin and bare it for now. Getting an apartment with randoms will be a lot less fun, and your complaints so far aren't that bad. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Yes, you DO officially live there! . Not under the law. In fact the landlord / property owner could kick her out. She doesn't have as much say legally as the people who are on the lease. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 If you're hellbent on staying there, then you need to stop griping about the dog. Most people wouldn't have a problem taking it for a quick walk when no one else could do it because most people like dogs. Whatever you do, don't punish the poor dog. If you yell at it, with dogs, they don't understand, and it only makes them more scared and nervous and they'll start peeing out of fear because it's a sign of submissiveness and fear. I hate it when people get animals and keep them penned up. Mine have a dog door to the big back yard. But there's a lot of pets who need homes. I don't feel sorry for you because you could be helping the situation AND the dog OR moving, but instead you're just griping about it and the dog is who's really suffering, and he can't help the position people have put him in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lyndaaxo Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 (edited) If you're hellbent on staying there, then you need to stop griping about the dog. Most people wouldn't have a problem taking it for a quick walk when no one else could do it because most people like dogs. Whatever you do, don't punish the poor dog. If you yell at it, with dogs, they don't understand, and it only makes them more scared and nervous and they'll start peeing out of fear because it's a sign of submissiveness and fear. I hate it when people get animals and keep them penned up. Mine have a dog door to the big back yard. But there's a lot of pets who need homes. I don't feel sorry for you because you could be helping the situation AND the dog OR moving, but instead you're just griping about it and the dog is who's really suffering, and he can't help the position people have put him in. I never once blamed the dog! She's lovely, I let her out and try to get her to do her business outside when I know she's on her own and praise her when she does. I've never shouted at her because I am aware she can't help it. But a lot of the time when I'm in my room and she's downstairs I don't know! My point is I don't see why I should clean up after her when she's not mine, I didn't ask for a dog, she's not my responsibility, if she was I wouldn't leave her alone for long periods of time, if I didn't have a choice I wouldn't get one. Don't judge me by something I didn't even say... Edited December 21, 2014 by lyndaaxo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 If you're hellbent on staying there, then you need to stop griping about the dog. Most people wouldn't have a problem taking it for a quick walk when no one else could do it because most people like dogs. Whatever you do, don't punish the poor dog. If you yell at it, with dogs, they don't understand, and it only makes them more scared and nervous and they'll start peeing out of fear because it's a sign of submissiveness and fear. I hate it when people get animals and keep them penned up. Mine have a dog door to the big back yard. But there's a lot of pets who need homes. I don't feel sorry for you because you could be helping the situation AND the dog OR moving, but instead you're just griping about it and the dog is who's really suffering, and he can't help the position people have put him in. At what point did the OP says she was yelling at the dog or mistreating it? The dog is not her responsibility. She doesn't mistreat it but she is not required to take it for walks and the like and the assumption that everyone likes dogs isn't true either. Regardless of if someone likes a dog or not, if the dog is not theirs it is ridiculous and insane to expect them to assume all this responsibility for it when the two owners had previously agreed they'd take care of their own dog. She asked about this BEFORE they even got the dog and they basically lied about it and said one thing but did the opposite. You don't need to "feel sorry" for the OP but I've always said that is one thing I will never understand in America (I dunno if you're American but it's something common here) where people act like animals are more important than people. Animals are of course living creatures and one should not mistreat them but it amazes me when people are quicker to have empathy and compassion for dogs but turn a blind eye to people. These folks need to look after their dog and honor their word to the OP...I find it totally backwards that for you that's not the answer but instead the OP should just assume charge of the dog or move out. In any event OP: I personally would have had to move. But you say living here is better than with strangers. If so, are you sure? If you can't even cook and don't feel comfortable is it worth it? In any event, you can sit your roommates down and let them know how you feel and see if a different arrangement can be arrived at for you, them and the dog. but if you're paying your bills to live there too and they aren't honoring their agreement and are doing things which make your living there uncomfortable, you have a right to speak up! If you were living there free or as a guest then no, but as a paying tenant, it's not right. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 If you're hellbent on staying there, then you need to stop griping about the dog. Most people wouldn't have a problem taking it for a quick walk when no one else could do it because most people like dogs. Whatever you do, don't punish the poor dog. If you yell at it, with dogs, they don't understand, and it only makes them more scared and nervous and they'll start peeing out of fear because it's a sign of submissiveness and fear. I hate it when people get animals and keep them penned up. Mine have a dog door to the big back yard. But there's a lot of pets who need homes. I don't feel sorry for you because you could be helping the situation AND the dog OR moving, but instead you're just griping about it and the dog is who's really suffering, and he can't help the position people have put him in. I think this response was uncalled for and not even based on the facts. There is nothing in this thread that indicates the OP is punishing or yelling at the dog. I am a dog lover and I adore my dog but I also take care of him myself and do everything I can to make sure that he isn't an imposition on anyone else. Walk him, keep him quiet, clean up after him, etc. He is my dog and my responsibility. I don't "feel sorry" for the OP either but I understand her position. It's not fair to get a pet and then expect everyone else to deal with it. OP how old is the dog now? Hopefully this is really just temporary and the puppy will be trained soon. How are your roommates actively trying to housebreak the puppy? If the puppy is more than a few months old they could try crating her for short periods as a way of teaching her to hold herself. Most puppies like the security of a crate and they won't relieve themselves in their crate unless the crate is too large. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 If you can't move, you have to assume they aren't going to change. I'd rather take responsibility for letting the dog out then cleaning up after it. Also try taking picture of the mess before you clean it. Then show the photos to your friends & ask for a rent abatement. If you cannot use the kitchen, I'd ask for a rent abatement - regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 (edited) Not under the law. In fact the landlord / property owner could kick her out. She doesn't have as much say legally as the people who are on the lease. Which reminds me: Is the dog even legally allowed there? (under the rental agreement) Edited December 23, 2014 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
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