Inconsiderate Flatmate - A Lesson in Friendship

[Kaiten]

My roommate and I have been friends for a long time. We've been living together all year and I just want to get some things off my chest - which I plan to tell him when I move out.

 

When I first moved in, his ex gf was moving out (they'd been on and off for years). Apparently, she had run the water bill up to a ridiculous amount before she ditched him.

 

When I moved in, my roommate was really down about it all. He told me that her old bills were his responsibility but I was like "No man, I'm not gonna do you like that" and so I agreed to help him pay off the high a$$ water bill just because I was a good a$$ friend.

 

I moved in here with the goal of cheap rent so that I could work less hours and focus on starting my own business. The agreement was that I would pay half of all the bills. Since my business was internet based, I would need wifi to do a lot of my work. (the router is inside his bedroom since he lived alone at first)

 

Turned out that the wifi signal did not reach to my room. No problem though. I decided that I would just move my computer to the living room. But I still had a weak signal. Too weak to keep a connection. So I moved to the kitchen. Just enough internet to get work done.

 

From time to time, he would complain about me being in these areas too much, calling them, "my kitchen table" and "my living room" etc. Rather annoying unless he was joking? Especially considering I was there out of necessity and paying half the wireless bill.

 

As it got late in the year, I took on even less hours at work to grind out more hours on my own projects (I'm also writing another book that people are saying good things about!). At some point, the water company demanded a large deposit out of the blue, and so we chucked our money into it.

 

We were both broke. I wasn't expecting that.

 

During this time (3 weeks), I got behind on some bills for this, and he covered them as needed. But he complained very often and hounded me about the money. What I consider a major violation though, is his lack of discretion.

 

He told just about everyone we both know that I owed him money. His mother, his gf, mutual friends. His mother, who has often called me her own son, said this about our situation: "Kaiten isn't gonna pay you back. He's just trying to get over on you."

 

My roommate even told me that he was getting upset about the fact that I owed him money.

 

What he had obviously forgotten - and conveniently neglected to tell his mother - is that the entire reason I "owed" him is because I had agreed to help him pay the high a$$ water bill his ex gf left him with.

 

 

 

 

I have learned that even though we have been friends for over 10 years no, I am by no means bound to my roommate or his mother. And if they were my real friends they would not keep score the way they obviously do.

 

Some people see friendship as an obligation. I see it as a privilege. A privilege to be there for someone in their time of need and to share experiences with them.

[Satu]

Eminem:

 

"What is money?"

 

"Money is what makes a man act funny."

[Dontfindme]

Your flatmate's loss.

[dragonfire13]

Money has a funny way of making people paranoid that you're going to shaft them... you can understand it to some extent. While Im the type of person if someone lends me money in an emergency, I'll have it back to them within days or as soon as I have the funds available, other people (such as your roommate's ex) will happily use and abuse people often leaving them out of pocket.

 

I understand you helped your roommate out and so didn't expect him to be hounding you. I think from now, just pay for yourself. Try to get the money for your share of the bills to him as soon as you can (maybe take off the amount that you contributed for the water bill that you helped him out with) and he'll probably not only be reassured, but embarrassed for hounding you.

 

If he's getting touchy about how much time you spend in communal areas though, it might be time for you to move in with people who are bit more relaxed, and where you have a better internet connection.

 

It's weird, I'm thinking about moving. I temp here and there but I'm also trying to get my own blog going. I saw a cheap attic (loft) room but was concerned about the Wifi signal reaching. Definitely given me something to double check.