I don't get this girl, she wants to be friends, but doesn't unblock me?

[TheManWithoutAPlan]

So here I am.

 

To start off this girl isn't exactly "normal" compared to other girls I've met, she's sweet, kind, smart, but she's had a pretty rough past mostly in the past three years. She's gone as far as to say she has trust issues, notably from a few toxic friends, bad boyfriends, and her un-supportive family, I recommended she take counseling quite a while ago to get her back on her feet which has helped in places.

 

Earlier on in the year I made a rather bad (But honest) mistake which caused her to block me on pretty much everything, we became friends again soon after when I had the chance to say my side of the story, but she did not unblock me on Facebook which is what we both mostly use to talk on. Days turned into months, as we started to talk more on other messenger apps such as whatsapp and kik, facebook just slid under the carpet, along with skyping eachother (although she never really used skype).

 

It's been about six months, I asked her directly a while ago about unblocking me on there and she said that she tried before but it wouldn't let her, I stopped trying to ask if she would try it again as it was usually "I'll try tomorrow" but never did which I did grow rather annoyed about. More recently, she started to use Skype again after not using it for most of the year (last I remember seeing her online was before she blocked me) which I was quite surprised about, I haven't seen her online in so long I forgot she even had a skype account. Anyway, after about a day, I was deleted off of there without her so much as mentioning it to me later on when we talked as usual, I don't think it was to provide a reaction at all, I don't get it.

 

Since then I've just stopped trying to contact her so I can re-evaluate where I actually do stand with her, she's always said that she wants to be close friends and I'm one of the best guys she knows, yet I get this.

 

What's everybody's thoughts?

Edited November 11, 2014 by TheManWithoutAPlan

[writergal]

How do you know this woman? Did you ever meet in person or is this strictly just an online connection? She sounds like a flake giving you the excuse that she doesn't know how to unblock you on Facebook. What mistake did you make that was so awful, that caused her to block you on Facebook?

 

Words mean nothing when they're not backed up by actions. Her telling you that she wants to be close friends seems rather transparent, since she refuses to unblock you on Facebook. If you two have never met in person, then I wouldn't mourn the loss of knowing her unless you have developed romantic feelings for her. Have you?

 

Did you try contacting her through another app to ask her why she really won't unblock you? It's not because she doesn't know how. Facebook makes it extremely easy to block/unblock someone by their Facebook username.

[TheManWithoutAPlan]

How do you know this woman? Did you ever meet in person or is this strictly just an online connection? She sounds like a flake giving you the excuse that she doesn't know how to unblock you on Facebook. What mistake did you make that was so awful, that caused her to block you on Facebook?

 

Words mean nothing when they're not backed up by actions. Her telling you that she wants to be close friends seems rather transparent, since she refuses to unblock you on Facebook. If you two have never met in person, then I wouldn't mourn the loss of knowing her unless you have developed romantic feelings for her. Have you?

 

Did you try contacting her through another app to ask her why she really won't unblock you? It's not because she doesn't know how. Facebook makes it extremely easy to block/unblock someone by their Facebook username.

 

I've known her close to two years, It was through a mutual friend who has since stopped contacting us both but for the first year even without them I couldn't of asked for better really. It was a mix of both, we met up a lot especially in the first year, I haven't been able to secure a good time to meet up with her again at any point this year mainly due to our busy schedules.

 

I would say the same if I didn't know so much about her, but she does make excuses when she's insecure, we do consider eachother friends on at least some level but I don't get it myself, she's always spoken highly about me when she's talking to other people even some of our closest mutual friends. Well, I was blocked because since I was in town at the time I thought it would be a nice surprise to bump into her when she came out of work with a friend, I didn't think much of it as really we haven't met eachother in about 3 months at the time (Plus the friend wanted to do it, I followed along) but it was just awkward when she did, I was blocked, we talked it out after, realize it was a bit creepy, and we both agreed to bury the hatchet and get back to being friends.

 

Well, I have contemplated getting in a relationship with her before, but I don't really have any romantic feelings towards her, so I don't really think so on that front. That's what bugs me, I considered leaving one small message saying I'm deleting the messenger apps and I'll be on facebook if she wants to talk, but chances are even then she still wouldn't.

 

Aside from kik, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, whatsapp, and casual texting she doesn't really have anything else I can contact her on, I have tried asking her directly and she says that it comes back with a server connection issue prompt, but from what she has said she has only tried unblocking me through her phone, in all honesty I don't think she's really bothered to really try more than once. Plus, by what she's said she's only got six people blocked, I don't know if she was ever able to unblock them, but six months..

[writergal]

So when you surprised her in person with your friend, she got upset and then blocked you on Facebook? Sounds extremely childish to me, the way she reacted.

 

If you two had been face to face friends before that, I'd think she would have been pleasantly surprised that you showed up un-announced since you two rarely make the time to visit each other in person.

 

Even still, with all the apps you listed I'm surprised she still won't unblock you from her Facebook, which she could do from her home/work computer which would unblock you automatically on her Facebook phone app too. Sounds to me like she's just making up more lame excuses to keep you blocked, without respecting you enough to tell you the truth.

 

She's clearly hiding the real reason she's blocked you, despite the fact that you claim you two talked it out. I won't even begin to guess what her real reason is. But after 6 months, I would have given up a lot earlier than that.

 

You need to weigh your reasons for keeping her in your life, especially you two never visit each other in person and are just platonic friends who met through a mutual friend whom you've both lost touch with. It doesn't really make sense why you'd want to keep someone around who won't even unblock you from her Facebook. I just wouldn't waste my time on someone like her. But that's just me.

[TheManWithoutAPlan]

So when you surprised her in person with your friend, she got upset and then blocked you on Facebook? Sounds extremely childish to me, the way she reacted.

 

If you two had been face to face friends before that, I'd think she would have been pleasantly surprised that you showed up un-announced since you two rarely make the time to visit each other in person.

 

Even still, with all the apps you listed I'm surprised she still won't unblock you from her Facebook, which she could do from her home/work computer which would unblock you automatically on her Facebook phone app too. Sounds to me like she's just making up more lame excuses to keep you blocked, without respecting you enough to tell you the truth.

 

She's clearly hiding the real reason she's blocked you, despite the fact that you claim you two talked it out. I won't even begin to guess what her real reason is. But after 6 months, I would have given up a lot earlier than that.

 

You need to weigh your reasons for keeping her in your life, especially you two never visit each other in person and are just platonic friends who met through a mutual friend whom you've both lost touch with. It doesn't really make sense why you'd want to keep someone around who won't even unblock you from her Facebook. I just wouldn't waste my time on someone like her. But that's just me.

 

It is for me too, but the way I took it that it just scared her since we did come up unannounced, but she apologized afterward saying that the block was a bit much. I would of thought the same, we have about two mutual friends we see sometimes, I didn't necessarily think of anything bad by it when we were about to surprise her.

 

That's what does bug me, I've only ever pushed for her to unblock me for about a week here and there which usually stirred up fights so I stopped, a online mutual friend across the country talked to her about it and even there she was saying the same it won't let her excuse, I don't know, and even by taking me off of Skype all that is giving me is that she's just constantly saying she wants to be close then actually denying me to do so. I haven't talked to her for about a week, she hasn't reached out to me and I haven't bothered to do so back, I'm not going to chaise her.

 

I don't know myself, perhaps it is due to that I don't have many friends who have similar interests like I do with her, if I can't get any results by the end of the week I'm going to give up for good.

[writergal]

I'm sorry but yes, I think you need to give up on her friendship. She doesn't sound like a very trustworthy, reliable person. Her excuse as to why she can't unblock you is ridiculous because it's simply not true.

[preraph]

She may be okay being friends with you but not want you knowing all her business so that you don't come in with advice for her or something. You should stop being pushy about Facebook. She has her reasons and that's her right. She may think you being on there makes it look like you're more than a friend and not want to run off other guys. She may not trust you not to say something publicly that would make her mad or embarrass her. Who knows.