Trying to get on close friends basis agian.

[DiscoFever]

Hey all, trying to keep this short.

 

I've been friends with this girl for two years, really good for the first year, no problems at all. Coming into May things took a really nasty turn and we had a massive fight over some stupid thing a friend said, but after about a month we were talking again.

 

As our friendship has primarily been online only we can't really meet up, after that fight things were okay but they weren't perfect, really off vibe between us like I don't know, before we'd talk all day and tell each other everything and all of a sudden we barely speak a few hours a day about just little things, we had the odd fight here and there leading up until about a month ago as well.

 

I wasn't concerned about it for a while, I thought things would just even out, but they haven't. We still talk now and again and consider each other just friends, but I miss having a close friendship, someone you can talk to all day about anything..

 

I talked to her for about a hour or two earlier and brought it up weather she would want to try be close friends again, but I didn't get much of an answer from her about it, she didn't sound dead against it, but did say that it has been a long time since we were close.

 

I'm not really sure where next to take this, Ideas?

[preraph]

Doesn't sound promising. Are you actually wanting a romantic relationship with her?

[DiscoFever]

Doesn't sound promising. Are you actually wanting a romantic relationship with her?

 

I've considered it many times, I did warm up to the idea not too long back but I know I wouldn't be able to ask her out with how things as they are, at most I would want to get back into a close friendship before I do think of that again.

 

I doesn't sound that promising I agree .. but somewhere I still think I can pull through with it, usually a lot of her responses are like these, I can try to talk to her again in a few days and ask more directly if she wants to give it a shot, I can just hope really.

[preraph]

The issue seems like she really isn't very open to talking to you about it for whatever reason. I wonder if she knows you really want more and that's why. Anyway, hope the talk goes well.

[DiscoFever]

The issue seems like she really isn't very open to talking to you about it for whatever reason. I wonder if she knows you really want more and that's why. Anyway, hope the talk goes well.

 

I could suspect confidence issues or the fact we did try to have a run at being close friends before in and out when we were having the constant fights, but with them resolved I think it's possible for her to try, I just need a delicate approach.

 

I don't know, most of our conversations have never stretched far from "Hey you okay?" "Yeah I'm good thanks" for a while so I don't think she thinks I want more, but we have been friends for just about two years as it is.

 

Many thanks, knowing our usual schedule she'll talk to me either tomorrow or the day after, I can build up something then try to work off that.

[preraph]

don't know what you all were fighting about, but I guess it will depend if it left her with any resentment or whatever. Keep communications open and be nice and that's really all you can do. Good luck.

[DiscoFever]

don't know what you all were fighting about, but I guess it will depend if it left her with any resentment or whatever. Keep communications open and be nice and that's really all you can do. Good luck.

 

Really anything and everything that came up, we had a stupid fights over trivial things for ages, notably mutual friends stirring things or we took things between us the wrong way or so. I've kept communication good for quite a while now and things have been pretty good, just got to see.

 

Well I contacted her earlier and things went pretty okay, we lead onto that talk and she sounded a little more positive about it, I asked weather she would like to give it a shot and she said she would like to try, so hopefully something comes from that.

 

On a different note I found out earlier one of my ex best friends has also been creeping on her, I'm not best pleased about that since in the 8 years I've been friends with him all he's ever been is bad news, after I broke up with a girl in 2012 he jumped in straight after and bedded her, ugh.

[DiscoFever]

Well it was short lived.

 

After we discussed it for a bit she went off and I guessed she went since she was busy. A few hours after I sent another small message just a hey you alright, nothing really pushy to get her attention, about 15 minutes later she updated her snapchat story (It acts the same as a facebook status for those who don't use it) to "It's best to leave me right now:(" to which I replied in a snap back asking if she's okay, to say the least she never budged from just the usual don't worry response and we stopped talking about an hour ago on the same note.

 

I see that she is online still, I just .. I don't know, I don't know how I can get closer to her, I can try to just back off for a few days then come back but with my ex best friend now in the picture I'm conflicted. I was made aware of this yesterday ago when she said if I do know him as we're from the same part of town, then the "He's trying to chat me up and said you two were best friends" stuff to which I just gave my honest opinion that he's a downright scumbag, he was a toxic friend and he cheated on the last four girlfriends he's ever had even laughed in school when I was hospitalized a few years back, she only said "I'll keep that in mind :)" but I don't think that because of me things will just stop, I've been frustrated about it for most of the night.

[DiscoFever]

I'm not exactly sure on what to say at the moment, things are sort of good but bad at the same time.

 

Since yesterday I've not really heard a word from her nor have I tried to contact her, she viewed my last message I sent to her this morning but aside from that nothing really to update about, as much as I can see she's been quite quiet today. (No snapchats, No tweets/statuses, but she posted one Instagram picture just now and chances are she's probably online on her dating profile)

 

Part of me feels that I'm annoying her so I've given her a bit of space, another I don't know, I don't understand what exactly is going on or what to do. When we were talking yesterday over messenger app kik as I mentioned she had to go, my reply is still sat in her inbox not read, but with how things are I don't think she would read it for a few days yet.

 

Ideas?

[preraph]

I have no idea what is going on with her, but the basic rule of thumb is if someone asks for space, just stop contacting them and see if they contact you if you don't contact them. Because she knows you like like her, she probably isn't going to take your word as gospel about the cheating friend. You'd do well to just leave her alone for now. It sounds like you are just way more invested than she is and she knows it and isn't comfortable with that, as people rarely are. Do nothing is my advice.

[DiscoFever]

I have no idea what is going on with her, but the basic rule of thumb is if someone asks for space, just stop contacting them and see if they contact you if you don't contact them. Because she knows you like like her, she probably isn't going to take your word as gospel about the cheating friend. You'd do well to just leave her alone for now. It sounds like you are just way more invested than she is and she knows it and isn't comfortable with that, as people rarely are. Do nothing is my advice.

 

That's what I'm aiming to do, seeing that I'm not exactly high on her priority list I don't really see what else I can do, I'll give her the time and space she needs, I have a good chance we'll talk again soon, but I will have to build things back up.

 

I still don't necessarily think she does think I do like-like her, sure a part of me does twist and turn on what if we do get together, but I know I'm not really in a position for that to actually happen. After some thinking I don't think anything will really come of them, they did have one or two conversations sure, but he does spend most of the day either playing games religiously or trying to find any local girl that's just looking for sex (Something she's not however, and that's something I'm happy about, but not calling it just yet).

 

I'm going to try about four days (five counting today) without contacting her then see how she is after, and on that note I've not so much as said to her today, but it does give me some time to recuperate and think about things at least.

 

How should I go about letting her open up a bit so I don't get the same "I'm fine don't worry" response all the time? If I can fix one problem, I can start to fix the rest a little easier.

[preraph]

I really think you need to wait until she contacts you since she told you to leave her. That puts the ball in her court to contact you, so I'd wait it out and if you hear from her, great; if not, she's out of your life. I'd say since you fight all the time, it's best never to discuss anything serious at all and just keep it light, like what tv shows she's watching or whatever.