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should i avoid mean girls or show them that im great without them?


amkxoxo

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So I had a falling out last year with a friend of mine Kayla and my roommate Hannah. My roommate picking the Kayla's side and conspiring with her and going against me. So they are my enemies. Hannah and I have a bunch of mutual friends. But I won all the friends back and on my side but being the nice, sweet, loyal friend that I am. Hannah is not my roommate anymore because we have since graduated and gone our separate ways has not kept up with our friends and has proved to be a bad friend. Which I am happy because people now see her for who she truly is. She is still best friends with the other girl Kayla who hurt me. My roommate Hannah is fake. She will see people she hasn't kept in contact with for a long time and act like they are best friends. Where I actually care about these people and keep in touch.

 

There is a school event going on tomorrow and a lot of alumni go to it. It's all outside since its warm in this area. One of my friends is going with her boyfriend. She wants me to go. This such friend is very controlled by her boyfriend so what he wants to do she goes along with. So my friend often doesn't just invite me but will say " well we are going at this time and place and you should come." So you fit into her plan or you don't. Don't get me wrong she is a great friend. Nice and thoughtful, she is just very odd When making plans when her boyfriend is involved. The festivities start when I am working but I will be able to make the concert, the big main event. It gets very crowded and the pre concert festivities are the best part not the actual concert. I was going to go just to show my face especially because Hannah and Kayla will be there and I want to show them how well I am doing and how good I look and that they don't intimidate me.

 

I have another friend who I am closer to that isn't going to this event so I could just hangout with her instead and do fun stuff. I don't know if my friend a nd her boyfriend will save me a seat when I get there after work. I'm afraid they will be sitting with Hannah and Kayla, which is unlikely but possible since Hannah will be all fake to them and friendly. My friend and her boyfriend are not staying the whole time either, which I don't want to. I don't know if it is even worth going to show up my enemies or just hangout and have fun with my other friend and catch up with my friend and her boyfriend after the game. Which my friend and her boyfriend want to go to dinner with us anyway.

 

Go to the concert or not even bother. I hate those mean girls anyway and no doubt they will be talking about me.

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I'm regarding this just like a romantic breakup, because even though you think you have moved on and made some progress that way, you are still giving them every consideration before you do anything, and you haven't really moved on until you give that no thought or so little thought that you just know you're fine to handle whatever happens.

 

First I just want to say that your friend with the bf is at least including you. As you see on this board, so many people just shove their friends aside once they have a bf. There's not much other way she can do it but to invite you once they've made plans because they're going to be operating as a unit. Of course, YOU could have made plans first and invited them and can in the future and see how that goes, but I don't see why it's all the important, the details, who gets there first, etc.

 

Why can't you let your other friend know you're already meeting this couple there and let the couple know you're bringing someone, but do not worry if anyone saves you a seat or not. You know how hard that is sometimes. And if you get there and they are sitting with the enemy, simply wave cheerily at them and seat yourself elsewhere. I have done that before and don't care if anyone wonders why or not. Don't look or be pissed off. Don't let those girls dictate your mood or they win! Just enjoy your show and be social with your friends whenever you can.

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It sounds like you would rather have fun with your other friend and meet up with the couple afterwards. You don't need to show those girls that you are doing well, because their opinions do not matter.

 

 

I know it is tempting to try and move on in that way. I've debated the same thing regarding my ex-roomie/friend who turned out to be a ****ty friend. It took me a long time to stop feeling angry at her. I wanted so badly to do well with my life and rub it in her face, but I was still afraid of facing her in case she humiliated me. I avoided events that I knew she'd be going to. Then I wondered if I should go anyway just to show I am not intimidated, to prove a point to her. Then I realized you know what, she probably doesn't think about me at ALL anymore. Why am I wasting my time thinking about her?

 

 

Do whatever will make you feel happy and try not to think about those girls. It doesn't matter what they think.

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