I feel like I can never trust my friend again

[amkxoxo]

So this girl Lexi and I were introduced through a mutual friend in college. We needed roommates for our dorms so Lexi moved in with me and some others. Lexi and I are from the same area back home and we got really close fast. We had a lot in common and had great fun though we were different. I didn't really date often while lexi constantly had a boyfriend. It was always the same story of her puttting in 110℅ and them not giving her what she deserved. Since she always met these guys at home during the summer she would be long distance with them when we were at school and she and I would be attached at the hip. Our second year together I met this guy who I ended up falling hard for. This rarely happened to me. It was also around the time lexi started having problems with her boyfriend.

 

He would call her at random times to talk when he had time. He gave her little to none of his time. And he rarely answered her text messages claiming be was busy. She wasn't a priority to him. I was there for her but when I started dating my new guy Logan I wasn't around as much

 

I was in the new puppy love stage where all I wanted to do was talk about him and see him and ask her advice about what I should do with him. At first she seemed fine but then she started growing bitter. One night she and I were watching a movie like any normal night together and Logan started texting me. I got all giddy movie forgotten and I started asking her what I should say. She started getting annoyed and wouldn't help me. It wasn't like her. I was just excited.

 

When her boyfriend would want to talk which was whenever he felt like it she would ditch me leaving me alone to watch movies because he had time for her. And she wouldn't come down for the rest of the night. I was okay with it because it was her boyfriend.

 

Another night Logan and I had a date. I didn't tell lexi because the date was unplanned and random. Logan cooked me dinner and I put my purse with my phone in the other room. While I was on my date lexi texted me saying she needed me desperately and her and her boyfriend were practically breaking up and she was crying. I didn't see the message until hours later. I ran back to find her drinking her sorrows away with all of my alcohol which she also supplied to friends to help comfort her. I told her where I had been and that I was sorry and she understood. She offered to give me money for the alcohol so I told her we would see another time.

 

I was always there for lexi through anything. Boyfriend troubles a shoulder to cry on. I felt like I wasn't getting any support or excitement from her that I found someone. It hurt. She even implied that she didn't want me asking her for advice or talking about him heavily anymore. I tried to hold back.

 

One night she and I drove to a place and got a ticket from a police officer for parking wrong. She drove. I told her we could figure out the payment when it came to be due. The day it was due she started texing me how I needed to give her my half. I told her I didn't mind paying half but that maybe we could call it even instead since she drank my alcohol. She then started chatisting me about how she didn't have the money to pay the ticket or my alcohol and that she wasn't going to call it even because I got the alcohol as gifts for my 21st and she wasn't paying for gifts. I was so mad. And so was logan since one of the pricey bottles was his gift to me and I didn't get to drink it. She even told me that she barely drank it and it was other people. It was other people after she gave it to them.

 

I never paid her anything. I was mad and she was mad. We tried to work things out. I know she was going through a lot of problems with her boyfriend and I wasn't constantly there for her like I had been because I was off living my life. One other night she got so mad at me. I asked her to go to the mall. She said maybe later because she didn't feel well. She seemed pretty out of it and not willing to go and I hate going right before they close so I asked logan. I made lexi some soup to make her feel better and when i told her I was going with logan she freaked. Saying I was ditching her when she didn't seem up to going. I was angry because she would claim I would ditch her and not make time for her but never once did she pin me down for time ahead of time to do something with me. I had more of a life and logan became a priority to me. Because I wasn't making plans with her anymore I wasn't around. But she didn't try to do stuff with me. As soon as her boyfriend would call she would ditch me. I guarantee if he wasn't long distance and he was on our campus I would have barely seen her.

 

We had our ups and downs. She and her boyfriend ended up breaking up. Go figure. The problem is that she and I have gotten over our issues greatly and our best friends again. What is wrong is I don't trust her like I used to. I don't entrust things in her like I did before. I feel like when we hang out I am holding back parts of myself. I don't want to tell her about boys because of how she reacted ijnthe past. I don't want to ask for advice. Its not the same. I miss our old friendship and I don't know what to do.

[Atticus9292012]

To me it sounds like you guys have both been at fault for somewhat crappy behavior. I would try to talk to her about what happened and try to put it behind you. People will fall short and disspoint you and from you're saying, I don't see anything worth ending a friendship over. If anything you learned a lesson about her and proceed in your relationship accordingly. If you cant talk and apologize then move on. Friends come and go out of your life.

[amkxoxo]

We are sti best friends. We no longer live together. See each other maybe once a month from time to time. I get frustrated because she will text me the night before a day she is free and wants to see me but its always so last minute I can't see her most of the time because I am busy. She means a lot to me and I know I mean a lot to her. I am so self conscious around her now because of what sue did and how she acted. We don't laugh as much and we don't have as much to talk about. She often doesn't have money to go have lunch with me or go out to do anything which I am very understanding but then days later I will see posts on social media about her and her boyfriend driving far away on a day trip or her going out drinking with friends. Which all costs money. Its so sad to me but I have grown closer to other girlfriends of mine and she and I are old friends but not as close. When lexi has a boyfriend which she has a newer one right now. Nice guy I'm not dissing him. She often becomes good friends with his friends. She always does this. And then she barely has friends of her own. But she considers them her friends that she met through her guy. Understandable. But she seems to cater to his life always. Going out with him and his friends and doing what he likes. She always moves in with her boyfriend like a month into dating and it always starts to crash and burn because of the quickness of the relationship. I just feel hurt because when I met a guy I liked and put all my time and effort into it she didn't support me. When I support her every time. I meet all her boyfriends and am cordial. Her last boyfriend met up with logan and I. Lexi later told me her boyfridnd didn't like logan. And I was like huh? They talked for all of 5 minutes. He didn't even know logan to judge him. Logan is very nice and has a good first impression. I think her last boyfriend was threatened of him. I question if lexi was jealous and lashed out at me. She was struggling with her guy and I was on cloud nine. I wish we could be close like we were before. We were like sisters. Making dinner together and having fun. We get together but its almost a little fake. Like we talk about our lives and school and stuff. We give each other only positive encouragement insteadnof hard truth like some of my other friends and I are blunt and honest with each other. Me and lexi used to be but we aren't.