Dontfindme Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Most of my friends like drama. They like to gossip, and talk crap about one another to the other, judge others, and never think beyond themselves. I won't lie and say I haven't participated in my fair share of it throughout our 15+ years of friendship, I have. But I think, at 25, we need to stop this. I am currently the target (it cycles between one another), for something I indirectly did years ago; they won't even address that they have a problem with me and talk about it to ME - but instead play the silent game. I've just had my fill of this BS. I really just want genuine, honest friends, not people who will use you as an excuse to bring drama into their lives - which I really think they enjoy. I really just want better friends - people who will contribute positivity into my life, and who will genuinely care for me and my well-being, for whom I can reciprocate with the same. Does anyone have any idea - or experiences on how to go about making new friends at this age? Link to post Share on other sites
noski Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Hey DontfindMe, Sometimes I think we have to spray it off:the toxic relationships in our life because you "are your friends religion"sometimes and you can be influenced If you hang out too much with some kind of friends. It's a BIG STEP forward you are AWARE of this toxic energy and are willing to do the necessary to move on . Apart from that group of friends,do you have other friends you hang out with or siblings or cousins and all ? Sometimes it comes naturally,depending on your connection with people,on social gatherings etc etc.It's reallly complicated to authentificate the "status" of "new friends". We are the same age but honestly I think I'm just sticking to my old friends and the ones I trust. Through a board (for a show) ,I met somebody,same age and all,thinking we were gonna be friends for life,talking to them everyday and trusting them and now nothing.It may have run its course .That was a lesson for me . As to joining groups and all,It might be an option,I dont know.Ive never done it .Maybe others wil advise you that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dontfindme Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 Hey DontfindMe, Sometimes I think we have to spray it off:the toxic relationships in our life because you "are your friends religion"sometimes and you can be influenced If you hang out too much with some kind of friends. It's a BIG STEP forward you are AWARE of this toxic energy and are willing to do the necessary to move on . Apart from that group of friends,do you have other friends you hang out with or siblings or cousins and all ? Sometimes it comes naturally,depending on your connection with people,on social gatherings etc etc.It's reallly complicated to authentificate the "status" of "new friends". We are the same age but honestly I think I'm just sticking to my old friends and the ones I trust. Through a board (for a show) ,I met somebody,same age and all,thinking we were gonna be friends for life,talking to them everyday and trusting them and now nothing.It may have run its course .That was a lesson for me . As to joining groups and all,It might be an option,I dont know.Ive never done it .Maybe others wil advise you that. Thanks for your feedback, Noski. I do have siblings - but we're not close in age, nor do we share similar interests to be able to establish the sort of relationship that I am looking for from friends. I guess in an effort to maintain my friendship with this particular group, I've put less effort into other friendships during their early stages. I have other friends, but I'm not as comfortable with them, as I am with this particular group. Those friendships feel somewhat foreign in comparison, even with this group behaving in the way that they do. I'm sorry that your friendship with that individual ran its course, it sucks when that happens; but I'm glad you learned an important lesson from it. I'm not sure if there's a solution out there for me. I do appreciate your input, though. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 As an adult I made friends through work, through business groups, through volunteer activities, and through doing summer shares at the beach (a group of people get together & rent a house by the ocean) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Most of my friends like drama. They like to gossip, and talk crap about one another to the other, judge others, and never think beyond themselves. I won't lie and say I haven't participated in my fair share of it throughout our 15+ years of friendship, I have. But I think, at 25, we need to stop this. I am currently the target (it cycles between one another), for something I indirectly did years ago; they won't even address that they have a problem with me and talk about it to ME - but instead play the silent game. I've just had my fill of this BS. I really just want genuine, honest friends, not people who will use you as an excuse to bring drama into their lives - which I really think they enjoy. I really just want better friends - people who will contribute positivity into my life, and who will genuinely care for me and my well-being, for whom I can reciprocate with the same. Does anyone have any idea - or experiences on how to go about making new friends at this age? You described why I only limit to one or two when they should arise. It is easier to find them online, though it is not my nature to look for them. On one old forum reg peeps were friendly enough to do get togethers once and awhile. But they knew each other from the year(s) on the forums. As for finding them they find you... so being diverse in activities where you can meet peeps, will allow peeps to find you as friendly and acceptable. Though, I have had a number of peeps who only come with expectations. The best friends I had when I was not looking. Geezo, thinking about that just now, and it always was that way for some odd reason. Of all places in the bad side of town, late at night sort of thing. Within a month I was accepted by a varied bunch of regs at a out of the way pub that had its share of characters. The most friendly bunch to say the least, yet in my circles they would hardly be accepted. Though I am a personality that does not judge for being different, and can easily fit in when I am up to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dontfindme Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 As an adult I made friends through work, through business groups, through volunteer activities, and through doing summer shares at the beach (a group of people get together & rent a house by the ocean) I'm seriously considering the volunteer option, I have been for a while, but I think you just gave me the final push. Thank you so much, these all sound like great ideas. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dontfindme Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 You described why I only limit to one or two when they should arise. It is easier to find them online, though it is not my nature to look for them. On one old forum reg peeps were friendly enough to do get togethers once and awhile. But they knew each other from the year(s) on the forums. As for finding them they find you... so being diverse in activities where you can meet peeps, will allow peeps to find you as friendly and acceptable. Though, I have had a number of peeps who only come with expectations. The best friends I had when I was not looking. Geezo, thinking about that just now, and it always was that way for some odd reason. Of all places in the bad side of town, late at night sort of thing. Within a month I was accepted by a varied bunch of regs at a out of the way pub that had its share of characters. The most friendly bunch to say the least, yet in my circles they would hardly be accepted. Though I am a personality that does not judge for being different, and can easily fit in when I am up to it. I agree, I think it's important to have few close friends. I haven't really sought anyone out on forums before - this is actually the first forum I'm posting on. But it is something to keep in mind. I like the idea of having them finding me, through shared activities. I will have to immerse myself in activities first. Perhaps, this is my main issue, I'm so accustomed to doing things with my friends/ex, that I haven't ventured out much on my own. Good for you, having that group of friends, and being so open to others - we need more people like you! Thanks for the input! Link to post Share on other sites
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