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Group Event


Tailor2000

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Im part of this sort of, social group. We meet once a week for a particular purpose (not giving too much away - but just assume it's something like a book club or bible study or something). But we also get together twice a year for a group outing.

 

I couldn't make it this time due to being a bit off colour and thought of others deciding not to pass anything on. I text one of my friends from there but never had a reply. I was kind of hoping someone may get in touch and try to twist my arm to go along or ask what's wrong.

 

But nothing. Not one phone call. They say we're all like a family, or how we're this group of great friends. They'll probably say they missed me when I next see them.

 

But I can't help but think how hollow those words are. Empty words. You missed me so much, not one of you bothered to get in touch to see where I was, if there was anything wrong. So don't come the rubbish that we're this friendly group looking out for each other.

 

I think Im being a bit sensitive and the person I text probably did get the message and told everyone else but just didn't reply.

 

But I still feel a bit bitter. To be expected I think. As long as I don't dwell on it.

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I can understand your pain & frustration. I can only hope that their reason for not reaching out is they thought you wanted / needed some alone time & they were trying to respect that.

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I was kind of hoping someone may get in touch and try to twist my arm to go along or ask what's wrong.

 

Is it customary in your group to call people when they can't make it? It seems like it would be a pretty common thing for people to miss events, due to illness, scheduling conflicts, etc. Do you call them to see if they're okay?

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I never really get bitter when people dont ring me....if i want to talk to someone i will ring them or contact them and it takes two to make a social connection.......not just one......and i am often guilty of hibernating away from people.....i just figure that they know that i am hibernating......plus i hardly ever answer my phone anymore.......guilty of that too.....i get harassed on my home phone quite a bit...i have a stalker at the moment..could be for me or my girls........so i dont answer unless i recognise the number..the same goes with my girls...my family give me secret signal rings...lol.....or i call people first and dont wait for them to call me...or i figure if it is really important they will leave me a message if they ring me..it takes two to connect.....so you shouldnt wait for someone to magically know if you are part of that group call them be honest with how you feel.....saves angst..............deb

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I can understand your pain & frustration. I can only hope that their reason for not reaching out is they thought you wanted / needed some alone time & they were trying to respect that.

 

Chances are the person I text first got the message and relayed it to everyone else but didn't reply to me. Fair enough.

 

Is it customary in your group to call people when they can't make it? It seems like it would be a pretty common thing for people to miss events, due to illness, scheduling conflicts, etc. Do you call them to see if they're okay?

 

And that's fair enough - as I said, I think Im being a bit oversensitive.

 

But... I don't know the person did receive my text and pass the message on, or that anybody actually did think of me. From that point of view, I think Im entitled to be upset as long as I don't dwell on it.

 

The group does have a few leader types in it who do get in touch when someones missing and there are cliques within the group that look out for each other and will find out where each other are. I only have three peoples numbers and I think if I know someone was expected who didn't turn up, I would get in touch, unless someone else does first.

 

But I don't feel that sense of belonging and love that is clearly so evident with others, despite having been a part of this group for a few years.

 

Im trying my hardest to get involved more - I could try harder. But there has been practically no reciprocation.

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