Ever felt uncomfortable with certain groups of friends?

[xxmusical]

Have you ever felt uncomfortable, or you can't 100% relax, with certain groups of friends?

 

I'm quite an introvert. It takes me a long time to warm up to someone without feeling like my smile is weird or stiff. I feel drained whenever I am out with people I'm not "super" close to because socializing with them requires a lot of brainwork, mostly thinking of what topics to talk about and what replies to give them during conversations. And so, with these groups of friends, usually people I met in different stages of university, I'm always the quiet one, listening quietly and laughing along, but rarely contributing to the conversations. But on the other hand, if I'm out with other friends, people whom I've known longer (like high school), I could relax more and feel as if there's less of a barrier.

 

I don't agree with the idea that the longer you know someone, the more comfortable you are with them, because that's not always true. We all went through a lot together during university (which was several years ago), had a lot of great times, and truly treasure the friendship we share. So I honestly don't know what my problem is with these groups of friends. Maybe I'm just hiding myself behind the spotlight, because there are always several people who are more talkative and outgoing in the groups.

 

Yet, I don't feel content letting myself just sit there and listen and pretend I'm comfortable with it, because I'm not. But I can't bring myself to contribute more, because it's draining, and I actually feel awkward and embarrassed when they all look at me when I talk.

 

So is this something to do with who i get along with or who I'm comfortable with or who I know longer? Or is this my own barrier that I put up in front of me? If so, why would I put up a barrier when these are friends I truly value? Sorry this sounds more like a rant...

[whichwayisup]

You sound so much like a friend of mine. She's extremely introverted and shy but once she is comfortable, she talks a lot and lets her barriers down. I've known her for a very long time so she's totally comfy with me... Though in a larger group of people she clams up.

 

Does this happen with just certain friends, or is just this crowd? Maybe they are more 'fun and light' buddies, not people you feel like you can really talk to?