candie13 Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 we've been flirting, which is no big deal, the guy is a big flirt. But I am afraid I might lose my friend in the process. I don't have that many male friends to begin with and I really treasure his friendship, we chat every day.... My friend warned my that his besty is not really reliable when it comes to women, but I do enjoy the attention and the jokes... I don't date these days, got too much going on with school and work. it's not a big deal. I care a lot about my friend... opinions - I should let it go, right? Link to post Share on other sites
I am Bud Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Dear candie13 If you value your friendship then you should have a chat to your friend and ask him how he would feel if you got into a relationship with him. Whether he feels that it would affect your relationship if it goes sour. If he says no go ahead it doesn't matter to me then you have your answer but if he says yes don't do it because he is a bit of a player and you are going to get hurt then take that into consideration as well. Being that your friend said that his best friend was 'unreliable' should be an automatic red flag to you. If you are still entertaining the idea of getting together with him then you will be entering into this relationship at your own peril. If you are looking for a good time then he would probably be happy to oblige but if you then start to have feelings for him and he doesn't reciprocate, then be mindful not to burden your friend too much because it will put strain on your relationship with him. If you aren't dating these days then make the time. But choose someone who is not so close to home so to speak. All the best - Bud. Link to post Share on other sites
Author candie13 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 hey, Bud that is one great piece of advice, thank you for that. guilty on all counts: - I miss male attention and I should make time to get some proper attention from a proper guy - this guy I fancy is too close to home and that is the biggest most important problem - I still find him loads of fun, and that is rare. I enjoy playing and flirting and haven't had any of that in a long long time. In more ways than it's like this guy wakes up a lot of things in me, things that I kept shut for the last 7 months. Before I was licking my wounds from my last relationship, burying myself into work and study to get some peace and tranquility. Which I did and I am really grateful for . Now this thing happened. It still is beautiful, irrelevant of how inconvenient it is for everyone . I should adopt a more Japanese, contemplation approach as to all the feelings this guy stirs in me and don't do a thing. It is another way of savoring attraction, without giving in to it. In all honesty, that happened so rarely to me - feel this high attraction towards someone - that when it did, in the past, I'd usually go for it. Che sera, sera. I do not intend to throw myself at any guy, even less to a guy so close to me and my buddy. Life sucks, sometimes, I just gotta accept that not all good things that come my way are good for me . Thanks, Bud! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author candie13 Posted August 3, 2014 Author Share Posted August 3, 2014 ok, here's a short update: we hung out to a music festival and I kept my distance. His buddy even more, like at the opposite side of our circle of friends. I was obviously disappointed, but then, such is life. It sucks. At the music festival, Alex, my friend found himself falling for a girl that one of his mates in another city dates / dated. She likes him back, so Alex decided to go visit the girl. We were talking about that yesterday, when the whole gang went out for drinks. Well, when his best buddy found out, he scolded Alex in front of me, looking into my eyes when he was telling him that these things are not cool. But he had this naughty smile on his face. In all honesty, I tried to not get any ideas and acted cool. I mean, I was warm towards him - because he's damn cute and I was a bit tipsy, but I was pretty much talking to everyone, especially two charming men that appeared out of nowhere near our group. I'll make it short: two glasses of wine later, most of my friends bailed out (as they live outside the city) - and I was still talking to those newbies. It started to rain so we all went for cover. I remember talking to these people, when all of a sudden he appears in front of me, looks into my eyes and next thing I know, we were kissing. When I open my eyes, there was no one around but him and it was raining. what the hell do I do now? Link to post Share on other sites
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