PuppetLife Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Problem 1: My friend just started ignoring me and i have absolutely no idea why. Few days ago, we were so close. We talk for hours and we keep in touch every single day. And like 2 days ago, she started to tell me she's busy when i started a conversation with her, or even just read my messages and ignore them. But I saw her chatting with other friends and all that. And so I'm really confused about the fact that she doesn't talk to me any more. I have absolutely no idea what i did wrong and i don't know what to do. Problem 2: I have a close friend who i love as a friend. I love her company and i think she is a great friend. But because of that, i started to get insecure really easily. I feel like i would lose her, or she won't like me as a friend if she has a better friend or something like that. Lately, she had been sick and had stayed home for a few days. I called her everyday to see if she's ok, but i realised we don't have much to talk about. No matter what i said, she just said “yea" in a really not interested tone. And when she call for something, she called some other friends instead of me. I don't understand why. Because i'm the one who cares about her so much but she doesn't seem to appreciate it. I want to show her i care about her but i don't want to act so desperate for this friendship and like an idiot if she really doesn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 You may want to start doing recreational activites where you have a mix of friends. That way you won't have any dependency on any one friend. That way you can get together with this one or that one, and not have to put up with any wishy washiness. Sometimes certain people come off as making an effort with their friends as being a chore. So I think that you friend thinks its a chore to get together. Perhaps even if you do straighten things out You should just get together no more than 2x a month. One low key Coffee The other seeing a local band or walk in the park/movie. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 What you call caring for her comes across as trying too hard and being clingy. You sound too desperate, and no one likes that. You are giving when no one is asking you to give and then you are expecting to be rewarded for that. It doesn't work that way. I wonder if you also give gifts a lot. In relationships, it's almost always the best thing to only put in as much effort as they do in maintaining the relationship. Things get out of balance with one person being too eager, too giving, caring more than is warranted, and it just makes the other person want to run because they know you expect them to reciprocate. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 What you call caring for her comes across as trying too hard and being clingy. You sound too desperate, and no one likes that. You are giving when no one is asking you to give and then you are expecting to be rewarded for that. It doesn't work that way. I wonder if you also give gifts a lot. In relationships, it's almost always the best thing to only put in as much effort as they do in maintaining the relationship. Things get out of balance with one person being too eager, too giving, caring more than is warranted, and it just makes the other person want to run because they know you expect them to reciprocate. friendship is about give and take...when people want to run from a friendship because someone is too giving.....there's no appreciation there at all for that person and theri ways.......find more giving friends......devote your time to them op...save twenty per cent of yourself for the phobics...dont gift people who dont appreciate them either.......dont change a giving heart because someone doesnt know how to appreciate that heart of yours...change who you give yourself too.......keep your commitments for people who truly care...i bought this lion bookmark the other day ...only cost two dollars and it has a 3d lion on it......i actually planned on gifting it to a friend of mine who chooses to ignore me all the time.....so i decided not to gift him.. i gave it to a giving person.......myself.....and i bought myself sneakers blue ones....smilin...........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Once again. I say just diversify your friends and don't have a major dependancy on one friend. If you really want to resolve it. Say to your friend that you need insight on a personal issue and then talk to her about why you feel on the outs with her. Take her out to dinner on you and just be low key. Ask her if its better to see each other less. Another thing, you may want to just see her once a month in a structured way. Like the last monday of every month. Everyone in our lives can't be all things to us. Link to post Share on other sites
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