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Friend concern


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Hi y'all!

 

 

I have a question for you please and thank you. I have what I'll at this point loosely refer to a friend who has some very serious issues that are far beyond my comprehension. On one hand she can be quite kind, but she has a side to her that, I know it sounds bad but I can't think of another word, is just rotten. Mean. Ridiculously attention seeking. It used to be a small aspect of her personality but as she is growing older it is becoming substantially worse. She will do something totally rotten to you over some non existent but perceived slight that is far beneath what should be her age/maturity level and then the next day act like nothing happened without so much as an apology. I have attempted to understand and empathize with her but I really don't want to play this game anymore with her. I do feel very sorry for her as she has lost all of her friends, can not get along with others, has issues at work and behaves in a rotten fashion in front of her 2 young children.

 

 

Questions: what do y'all think is up with this behavior? Is this a person best left as no contact- or is a frank discussion as to how her behavior is perceived and the damage it causes in order? Would someone like that even be receptive to that or just take it as another slight?

 

 

Your insights and opinions on this tough one would be most appreciated.

Thanks so much y'all xx

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I think you have to attempt to train her not to behave that way with you in the basic training method that works for animals and people of all kinds. Reward good behavior with attention and praise and empathy and validation when she's being kind. Get off the phone or change the subject or withdraw attention and ignore her when she's being a butt. And she understands English, so don't be afraid to say "That hurt my feelings" or "That was unnecessarily mean." People don't change overnight, so be prepared to just bail if it gets to be too much work or put her on a group-outings-only status or something.

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