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Am I being selfish?


Atticus9292012

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Atticus9292012

Today is my birthday and also one of my best friend's graduation day from paralegal school. Up until last week my birthday plans just weren't coming together. Most of my close friends were going out of town or otherwise busy, like my close friend who is graduating. At first I thought, "wouldn't it be cool to do a joint celebration birthday/graduation with my my close friend?" A little back story: this is my first single birthday in 5 years. My ex-husband, in the five years we were together, did something for me once (last year he sent me a text message). Needless to say, I have spent many birthdays a tad disappointed. I really wanted to do something fun this year. Otherwise I probably would have just brushed it off as "another year getting older." Well, I approached her multiple times about today and planning something, even just attending her graduation. Every time she was very non-comittal and didn't seem really interested in planning anything nor all that interested in my attendance. She even insisted multiple times that I didn't have to come "those things are boring." She also said she may not even walk because none of her family can be there. A couple of weeks ago another friend had approached me about going to dinner tonight for my birthday tonight. I had said I would. I forgot about it. Well, subsequent to this my friend that is graduating finally told me the time of her graduation but no other details. I grabbed a drink with my friend who wanted to take me to dinner, and she had asked a few other people that we are friends with to come along to the dinner and asked me where I wanted to go. I realized that I am an idiot and double booked myself. I explained that I needed to check with my friend who was graduating. I asked my friend who was graduating if she would be offended if I didn't go to her graduation and explained what I had done. I would have never asked if it weren't my birthday and I had told my other friend first. Honestly based on every conversation we had about it up until this point, it just didn't seem like my attendance mattered and she had been so vague and weird about it. Well, she never responded and finally told me this week that she was deeply hurt and would call me. I told my friend who wanted to take me to dinner that I needed to go to my friend's graduation. Well, friend who is graduating never got back to me. I have tried getting in touch to get the details of the graduation. I gave her until Thursday and then I made other plans. Was I wrong or selfish?

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d0nnivain

You weren't wrong or selfish. The graduate needed to be more specific & responsive. You pushed for details & offered compromises / alternatives on multiple occasions. If she acts this way as a paralegal she won't have that job long; the law requires attention to detail.

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