Anais Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 I joined a camping group online. After chatting with the moderator a bit he asked me to send a picture so that he knows to whom he talks. I sent one. And he writes back: you are a cutie if you weren't married you could be my snuggle buddy to keep me warm And he calls me cutie while we chat. Do you find it normal? Is it flirting or just being friendly? Should I tell him that I am not interested in any flirt or will it sound too rude? You know I am an alien here. This is why I ask this maybe strange for you question. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 You shouldn't have sent him a photograph of you to begin with. Now that you have, if his comments make you feel uncomfortable, send him a private message asking him to please be more respectful of your husband, and avoid affectionate terms. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anais Posted September 12, 2004 Author Share Posted September 12, 2004 I just don’t feel like anymore chatting or going some place with the group. I know I make a big deal from nothing. I guess I have complexes from my previous trials to be a friend with a guy. That makes one more time clear to me: I cannot be open-minded with males. They will always see the female in you not a friend. I met at a playground a father. Our kids played great together. So we started to talk and I felt very comfortable to talk with him. We exchanged phone numbers to meet that kids play together again. We agreed that I will meet with his soon to be ex wife (they are friends). Next time the dad showed up without wife. We got to know also another dad at playground and I enjoyed talking with them while kids played. Now do you think it is normal if I call and agree to meet that kids play again? I would be ok if it was with a female. But he is a male!!! So if I call it will be understood wrongly, right? Especially in my case, as I am in LDR. So I have a question: Can a married woman have a male friend? Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 hi anais ah, the old double standard. you say you wish men could see you as a friend without seeing the female in you, while at the same time you can't see this father at the park as a friend without seeing the male in him. it's healthy to have friends of the opposite sex. you enjoy talking to this man, you have something in common and there's nothing wrong with pursuing a friendship. i understand your caution if you've been burned in the past but that doesn't mean it'll necessarily happen again. but there is, naturally, a much higher risk that one or both of the parties in a male/female friendship will form an emotional attachment with the other over time. if you can't risk that happening, follow your heart and pull out now. why don't you ask your husband what he thinks? i'd only be hearing alarm bells if you hadn't told your partner about this man and weren't planning on doing so. and if your husband is fine with it, maybe you can all meet up together to let all parties know that friendship is all that will ever be on offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anais Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 Yes my husband knows everything that happens to me. He is really nice and we trust each other. Only thing I don’t tell him is that I post here sometimes. This is my secret. Is it cheating? LOL He thinks it is not at all ok to affiliate one cutie in such situation. It really happened rare to me that I could be a friend of a male without complication. It happened so that I work where are all men. It sucks! You cannot just go and tell. Hey do you want to go for a lunch.? Anyone else feels like that or do I have complexes? Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 this guy is one step away from being one of those stalkers. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts