AnneT1985 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Hi y'all! I have a question I am hoping you can help me with. I have a friend who I have grown apart from over the past year or so but we are still on polite and cordial terms- it was a very natural thing. Recently I heard from her and she told me she is upset that she is not receiving as much attention from her second pregnancy as her first. She also told me she is mad that no one is offering to throw her a second baby shower (they are 2 different genders but she had a very big baby shower 2 years ago for her girl so maybe that's why?) Anyhow I really don't know what to say to her. I have never heard someone mention having these expectations or issues. Is she hinting that I should throw her one? What would you all say to her or do or is this just another clear cut sign to continue to keep my distance? Thanks so much y'all! xx Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 She may have just been venting her frustration or she may have wanted you to offer to throw her a shower. I would have told her to ask a family member to throw the shower. I do think she's being unrealistic about the shower. Having a 2nd shower isn't really the norm, though people sometimes do it if it's for a differ gender baby. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 So from what I gather, you aren't as close as you used to be and she suddenly contacts you with this complaint? It's not your responsibility and frankly, I probably wouldn't host a baby shower after she's complained like this out of the blue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Personally, I can't stand being around people who feel entitled like this...is this her personality or is it due to the hormones? I'm in the event planning business and people usually don't have 2 baby showers but I do see "baby sprinkles." It's a smaller scale party meant to celebrate the coming of the baby since the mother should already have the basics (cribs, strollers, etc) from her first child. Perhaps you can throw her a "sprinkle" if you really care. Hi y'all! I have a question I am hoping you can help me with. I have a friend who I have grown apart from over the past year or so but we are still on polite and cordial terms- it was a very natural thing. Recently I heard from her and she told me she is upset that she is not receiving as much attention from her second pregnancy as her first. She also told me she is mad that no one is offering to throw her a second baby shower (they are 2 different genders but she had a very big baby shower 2 years ago for her girl so maybe that's why?) Anyhow I really don't know what to say to her. I have never heard someone mention having these expectations or issues. Is she hinting that I should throw her one? What would you all say to her or do or is this just another clear cut sign to continue to keep my distance? Thanks so much y'all! xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnneT1985 Posted April 11, 2014 Author Share Posted April 11, 2014 Personally, I can't stand being around people who feel entitled like this...is this her personality It is a big reason why we naturally drifted apart Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Two baby showers is tacky. If I were you I'd listen when it's convenient. Send her a small gender specific gift closer in time to the due date (in case somebody does give her a shower) but not really worry about it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 It is a big reason why we naturally drifted apart Unless she has more to offer in a friendship, I would keep distance. Maybe just acknowledge her, but not pay her complaints much mind. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Why would you need another, if you already got everything you need? She should be lucky people even went to her first one. I invited lots of extended family (mums side is a big family) and a couple of friends, to my first baby shower. Only a couple of family members bothered coming. I'm still pissed off about it. This is my first child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnneT1985 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 thanks very much y'all Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Honestly, I think some people get addicted to the attention they got with their first pregnancy and it's really about them wanting attention. It's unrealistic. The attention you get with a pregnancy is nice, but no one should start thinking it's really a big thing for anyone except themselves and their mate. I would be blunt and tell her, "People don't give showers for every baby. There's no need because now you have the basics." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Honestly, I think some people get addicted to the attention they got with their first pregnancy and it's really about them wanting attention. It's unrealistic. The attention you get with a pregnancy is nice, but no one should start thinking it's really a big thing for anyone except themselves and their mate. I would be blunt and tell her, "People don't give showers for every baby. There's no need because now you have the basics." I agree. It's like expecting another bridal shower at your second wedding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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