Sugarkane Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 I should've never added her. She brought in all of her friends and family. Their clique took over the small workplace. They looked after themselves and always excluded me, for No reason. It didn't help that I was the only young person that was a non smoker, in a company full of heavy smokers. I would try and make conversation with the leader of the group. It was always "let's do something" or "you should come with us". But nothing ever eventuates. One of the other girls is having a baby 4 months after me. She never said anything more than hello to me the whole time I was there. Should I defriend? This exact same issue comes up again and again in my life. I've got the same problem with a girl I was friends with at school. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 10, 2014 Author Share Posted April 10, 2014 I find people often very illogical like this. They had no reason to exclude me, yet people always put being in a group above all else. It's just like the animal kingdom. Humans aren't that different. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 They were probably only "getting close" to use whatever they could find to do evil. Definitely dump them. Never feel you have to keep someone on Facebook! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 Anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 I should've never added her. She brought in all of her friends and family. Their clique took over the small workplace. They looked after themselves and always excluded me, for No reason. It didn't help that I was the only young person that was a non smoker, in a company full of heavy smokers. I would try and make conversation with the leader of the group. It was always "let's do something" or "you should come with us". But nothing ever eventuates. One of the other girls is having a baby 4 months after me. She never said anything more than hello to me the whole time I was there. Should I defriend? This exact same issue comes up again and again in my life. I've got the same problem with a girl I was friends with at school. she isn't your friend in real life so DO delete her off of your facebook and block her too. Don't feel weird about it either. Just delete and block, you'll feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 Thanks. I've found this a bit of a recurring thing, but can't figure out why? Should I have asked her why they put effort into always excluding me? My mum still works with them and tells me the work gossip which pisses me off. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Don't ask her just unfreind and the block her. She'll make excuses if you ask what are the reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Never add anyone you can't afford to remove or can easily afford to remove. People keep forgetting that things in life should be about quality not quantity. If for that they get in this kind of situation they got what they asked for... Link to post Share on other sites
Rubypumped Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 That happens to me a lot too. I've researched it and found out that some of us just have that type of life. It's hard. But they're very shallow and until it happens to them they will never understand. You can talk to them about it, but don't make TOO big a deal or they'll see hanging out with you as an obligation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 That happens to me a lot too. I've researched it and found out that some of us just have that type of life. It's hard. But they're very shallow and until it happens to them they will never understand. You can talk to them about it, but don't make TOO big a deal or they'll see hanging out with you as an obligation. But then why do they bother to accept at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Armegoggon Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Normally I'm a guy that isn't a fan of being deleted but your case seems like I would delete if I had a friend like this. When one excludes you while they don't exclude others, this makes you feel left out. Seriously, if somebody never wanted to act like a friend or treat you like a friend you should delete them. If she actually finds out about this and tells you in person, just be honest and tell her what happened. Other than that, I'm sure she'd learn her lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Thanks. I've found this a bit of a recurring thing, but can't figure out why? Should I have asked her why they put effort into always excluding me? My mum still works with them and tells me the work gossip which pisses me off. We all run into selfish a-holes, so you're not the only one. What you might be doing, however, is the following: 1- putting up with a-holes longer than you should (who in the heck are they anyway? garbage!) 2- not filling your life up with supportive, positive people who genuinely like you as you like them p.s. tell your mom not to talk about these a-holes ... move on from them and go no contact (including unsolicited updates from your mom) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I just happened across this 3-page article which might be helpful to you: Dealing With Selfish People - Emotional Pirates Link to post Share on other sites
Justletgo Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I find people often very illogical like this. They had no reason to exclude me, yet people always put being in a group above all else. It's just like the animal kingdom. Humans aren't that different. Yes, I have been left out/betrayed a couple of times in the passed so I know exactly what you mean. And since then I've learnt that really good kind hearted people are very rare. Generally people do what they like without really thinking about how it might hurt others. So people are really like you said basically 'animals'. Since then I just think of people as 'sophisticated animals'. And to just expect them to do some selfish/hurtful stuff without taking it personally. After all, animals can't help it But of course, never put up with it. Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Definitely delete. Let them be thos ignorant group, you are left out because you are probably too sweet, beautiful, healthy, sofe natured, etc etc etc (not kidding), people like this prefer rude ones like themselves. The defriending thing, I do so all the time, once in a couple months, I go over my Facebook friend list and delete whoever I don't talk to, am not related to, who has treated me in a way I don't like. I think you are a sensitive person Sugar, I can toally relate, because so am I. I have been pushed out on several ocassions as well. You will have to learn to deal with it. What helped in my case is that I taught myself to be really happy on my own, being myself, with myself. Then to look around and to only pay attention to those who do the same to me. You'd be surprised how people react to this transformation. and you'd be surprized by how happy you'll make yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Defriend her. I personally do not add co-workers to my facebook page. They are co-workers and I keep it professional with them. My personal life is my business and I don't need them knowing things about me that I am not willing to share with them personally. Never feel like you must 'friend' someone on facebook because you work with them. Keep a professional boundary in place as much as possible. I would tell your mom to stop telling you about the work gossip. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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