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Is he with her for the sex?


YeahSure

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Ok, so I have this friend...actually we're more than friends. We started out as friends, then it led to more, then we backed up to being just friends again. He was dating this girl when we first became friends and then he broke up with her when he and I dated and now he's dating her again. Only thing is that he hardly ever sees her and when he does, it's very brief and he always complains about how dumb she is and how she's such a loser. I see him at least four times a week and we talk just about every day on the phone. I know he likes me and I like him...and it's hard to just stay friends after we used to go out. The other night, we stayed up all night long...just listening to music and talking and then we started holding hands and being all touchy feely...but no kissing. I won't kiss him since he has a girlfriend...or he "technichally" has a girlfriend. I tell him he's just with her for the sex, cuz even though they really don't go out all that much, I know that he is sleeping with her when he can. I won't sleep with him...because I believe that it's wrong to have sex before marriage and I want to sleep with the man I'll be married to. It's really hard cuz I want to sleep with him, he's awesome and I love being with him so much. But there is no way right now.

 

So...do you think he's only with her cuz of the sex? He says he isn't...I obviously don't believe him. After all...why else would someone stay with someone else when they say they can't think of one reason why they like them? I mean, if there was another reason, they would be together more often and he wouldn't be with me so much...right? What do you guys think???

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I'm sorry...but I don't think this guy sounds so wonderful at all. It sounds like he's getting something out of his relationship with his girlfriend (be it sex or whatever) and something else out of his relationship with you. Either way, from the little you said, it sounds like you might BOTH be being used to satisfy his needs. Meanwhile, neither one of you are likely getting what you want out of the situation.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh. Perhaps I'm pessimistic about people, but I think I've seen this one before. Be careful. Good luck.

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Only thing is that he hardly ever sees her and when he does, it's very brief and he always complains about how dumb she is and how she's such a loser.

 

He sounds like a jerk to me :confused:.

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Yeah, I think you guys are both right...I mean, he's a really nice guy and very kind and considerate when we are together. And I know that we really just should be friends right now because he's so confused and doesn't know what he wants. I was really hurt the first time we broke up but I'm ok with it all now...really. He's the not the guy I want to marry...for many reasons. We have different beliefs, goals, and dreams. But he is a great friend and I really wish we could stay just friends and do nothing more. It was like that for a few weeks after we backed things up...but now when we are together for longer than two or three hours, other things start to happen. Do you think it's possible to be just friends again????

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I think you can be friends, but don't stay around him for 2-3 hours if you think something bad will happen.

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