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Would you be wary of this friendship?


SpiralOut

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I'm thinking I should back away from this one.

 

She seems very nice, for the most part, but I've noticed she makes self-depreciating jokes often. She's easygoing so I started talking to her, but as I tried to connect with her I felt as though I needed to put myself down too. I don't like that.

Maybe that in itself isn't enough to put me off, but she surprised me later that day by getting all upset about me not taking a picture of something. She didn't use a normal tone of voice.She went off on a rant asking me "well what on earth were you busy taking pictures of then?? What were you doing??"

 

I felt spoken down to, like she thought I was being stupid or something for not doing what she wanted. All she had to do was ask and I would have done it. Geez. I'm not a professional photographer. I was on a nature walk with them and brought my camera along to take pictures of the trees, so that's what I did. I'm pretty sure it's okay for me to photograph whatever the hell I like. I don't like the tone that she was giving me.

 

Now I'm wary that she'll do that again, only maybe next time it won't be something so harmless. Maybe next time she'll push on a sensitive subject. I've had friends in the past who were quite insecure and took it out on me. I don't want that happening again. I think I'll back off.

Edited by SpiralOut
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Yeah, I'd walk away if she is making you that uncomfortable. There is honestly no reason to put up with it. Either that or you stand up to her when she talks to you like that. It's up to you.

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I pretty much agree with the above posters, but on a side thought there might be a chance she has some issues with being insecure. I've known several people who acted like that, but after coming to terms they were able to stop with the bullying ect.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I can't avoid her completely, since she attends most of the events I go to with this group. This is the first group I've found that I actually have fun with.I don't think she is being that way on purpose. It is probably some insecurity thing maybe.

 

 

Still, I don't like it. Last night we went bowling. I tried to hold back so we could each talk to other people instead of each other, but it didn't work. Someone mentioned that I was really good at it last time. I'm not usually good - I was just lucky last time. But this woman grabbed onto that and spent the whole night telling me that I am competition, and she's sure I'll do great, blahblah. When I didn't do great she kept offering me reassurance, even though I didn't feel bad nor did I really care. I just wanted to enjoy myself without someone making a big freaking deal over my performance. It was really irritating. It felt condescending. I had no idea how to deal with it so I ignored most of it, but she didn't get the hint.

Edited by SpiralOut
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sounds like she needs attention, so she forces it on you (good and bad) so that you'll return it her way. People like that tend to be emotional vampires, not thinking about (or caring) whether they suck you dry.

 

RUN!!!!

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I feel stupid now for trying to get to know her in the first place. Now that I've given her attention in the past, she is focusing on me more than the others, which makes sense I guess but I don't really want her attention anymore.

 

 

She's not attending the next event, and the one after that there will be a larger number of people so it'll be easier for me to sit somewhere else. I will try to distance myself without seeming rude or unfriendly.

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