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Old 22nd November 2014, 7:29 PM   #46
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I completely get where you are coming from. Truth, some women are more adept, naturally to get along with other women. Women can be really cool to hang with occasionally. Some women are the real deal but they are the diamond in the rough.

Women are other women's worst enemy, the way we attack each other and pick each other apart. I have seen this too many times.
There is so much to respect about women in general. We seriously are able to be so much to so many and move mountains.

I am always shaking my head at how callously we treat each other to compete for men's attention and literally to bond with other women by finding someone to pick on "together"... twisted. "Oh no, I don't do that!" Really? When was the last time you were in public or at a party and a very attractive woman walked in? I bet your first instinct was to say: I bet she's super cool, I'll go converse and see what's going on. Haha, Nope, first instinct was to pick her apart, find fault and deflect your SO's attention. Like she really gives a ****. All she did was walk. How many times has the topic of your "girls night out" been about putting down another woman?

I know, I sound bitter. I personally love people. Good people male and female. That's it. There are some really insecure, dishonest and malicious people in this world. There are some kick-ass beautiful, loving and giving human beings here too, find them.
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Old 22nd November 2014, 7:51 PM   #47
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When was the last time you were in public or at a party and a very attractive woman walked in? I bet your first instinct was to say: I bet she's super cool, I'll go converse and see what's going on.
I admit that sometimes I talk more about other people than I prefer (male or female)...but if someone beautiful (also male or female) walks in, I acknowledge it without competitiveness.

I don't base my worth on my appearance - it's just one quality in a person - and it's no stress for me to see someone more attractive than I am. If some guy wants that more than me, o.k.

I think women who base their worth in large part on their appearance, or are very insecure with themselves, are probably more at risk of being competitive with other women.
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Old 22nd November 2014, 8:45 PM   #48
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The only couple of women I've encountered who didn't like to have girlfriends were very threatened by them to the point of being hysterical about it, or gay and wanted to be seen as manly and overtried to be one of the boys at the office.

Since there's literally every kind of woman out there, ones who are sporty, ones who aren't, ones who are gossipy, ones who aren't, ones of literally every type to befriend if you're specialized, there is just no rational excuse not to have girlfriends and it must be looked upon as a personal limitation, in my opinion.
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Old 22nd November 2014, 10:37 PM   #49
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My ex female co workers all ostracized to get ahead. They only looked after themselves. They all brown nosed, physically touched, and hugged our boss, who is twice our age. To get ahead. They would all help each other out, but never with me. When I was let go without a redundancy or even a thankyou, none of them ever contacted me.
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Old 22nd November 2014, 11:21 PM   #50
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I admit that sometimes I talk more about other people than I prefer (male or female)...but if someone beautiful (also male or female) walks in, I acknowledge it without competitiveness.

I don't base my worth on my appearance - it's just one quality in a person - and it's no stress for me to see someone more attractive than I am. If some guy wants that more than me, o.k.

I think women who base their worth in large part on their appearance, or are very insecure with themselves, are probably more at risk of being competitive with other women.
I could not agree more. There is a reality for some women and it is an intangible thing. I love to see a beautiful woman, I did not say that I felt competitive or these things are based solely on looks. They are not. There is something deeper happening. Women are so innately judgmental of other women, I'm not sure how conscience we are of it.

I said there are jerks and there are sweeties. This is not only about appearance.
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Old 23rd November 2014, 1:38 PM   #51
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My ex female co workers all ostracized to get ahead. They only looked after themselves. They all brown nosed, physically touched, and hugged our boss, who is twice our age. To get ahead. They would all help each other out, but never with me. When I was let go without a redundancy or even a thankyou, none of them ever contacted me.
Ditto. Im not sure if work is the best place to meet female friends.

Just to reiterate, a lot of the problems I female friends arent related to competition. The real problems come when the relationship is on the rocks, and theyre ready to ruin each others lives.

My former female coworkers never invited me to anything. Because I dont talk up a storm, its easy for me to be ostracized by other women. A lot of women dont like that im not as talkative, and when I do talk, its normally something factual. Its ok. We dont all have to be the same kr be liked.
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Old 23rd November 2014, 3:51 PM   #52
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The only couple of women I've encountered who didn't like to have girlfriends were very threatened by them to the point of being hysterical about it, or gay and wanted to be seen as manly and overtried to be one of the boys at the office.

Since there's literally every kind of woman out there, ones who are sporty, ones who aren't, ones who are gossipy, ones who aren't, ones of literally every type to befriend if you're specialized, there is just no rational excuse not to have girlfriends and it must be looked upon as a personal limitation, in my opinion.
I do identify more with men. Its not about trying, I just am. Relating to women would actually require more effort. I really dont have much in common with average woman.
I dont understand why its a personal limitation. Ive never really had female friends. I cant have guy friends. Thats life.

Even as a child, I was fine being by myself. Not every woman is a social butterfly. Sometimes I wonder if people would be more understanding of me being independent if I were a man.

I could find someone maybe, but I need someone very specific. I am very, very different from most women. It would take a lot of effort to find this particular female. I say if it happens it happens.

There are all kinds of women, but most fit a certain mold more or less. As someone on the outside in, I see that most women have certain things in common.

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I wouldn't recommend them if you're a woman, they're great if you're a guy though. Maybe you're just not that needy potato. Nothing wrong with that. I get by with one guy I talk to maybe every other day and a few people I exchange small talk with occasionally. And a few posts here most days.

Would also answer the question in your last thread. Men like a somewhat needy woman.
Right. I just have a lot less needs than most women.
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Old 24th November 2014, 11:01 PM   #53
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I also don't get it when female friends will take sides with a male who treats women like Shyte (lies and cheats), when a couple breaks up.
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Old 25th November 2014, 4:52 AM   #54
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I guess I want someone to show me I'm not dodging a bullet by not having female friends...

Btw. sleeping with the boyfriend/husband is only one thing I've observed. I've also seen:

*gossiping about each other, literally as the other one is walking away
*one being nice to the other because the other has Xanax, lortab, percocet, etc
*blackmail
*threatening legal action against the other
Who are you hanging out with?

I have seen an enormous amount of support. A heck of a lot of laughs, comrades in arms, love care and devotion from my female friends...

I don't have loads but those I do have I cherish... Only last night one of my closest friends and I were in tears laughing over the menopause...

You are seriously missing out. A great girl friend tops any relationship with any man any day. She is there for you no matter, she is your sounding board, your inspiration, she is your rear gunner and your greatest fan.

You don't need to be a social butterfly. But when chips are down and you are at your lowest ebb its your girlfriend who will be there for you.
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Old 25th November 2014, 2:29 PM   #55
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Who are you hanging out with?
With myself
I'm talking about the friendships i've seen at work.

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I have seen an enormous amount of support. A heck of a lot of laughs, comrades in arms, love care and devotion from my female friends...

I don't have loads but those I do have I cherish... Only last night one of my closest friends and I were in tears laughing over the menopause...

You are seriously missing out. A great girl friend tops any relationship with any man any day. She is there for you no matter, she is your sounding board, your inspiration, she is your rear gunner and your greatest fan.

You don't need to be a social butterfly. But when chips are down and you are at your lowest ebb its your girlfriend who will be there for you.
I guess I don't feel like Im missing out because I'm just not that social.
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Old 28th November 2014, 5:48 AM   #56
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With myself
I'm talking about the friendships i've seen at work.

I guess I don't feel like Im missing out because I'm just not that social.
The two women I consider to be my best friends were met at college or during charity work. Both have been supportive through times of extreme distress and hardship. Its not just about being sociable. One watched me walk up and down a room for 3 days during a nervous break down and I can tell you I would not have been able to get out of that room with out her. She helped me start shopping again and do all the normal every day things that we take for granted.

I barely talk to any of the women I have met through work. Work is competitive. Outside the office not so.

Put a bunch of women into the same room and your looking for explosions! I rarely found a strong connection with any of the women I have worked with. That said, I am still happy to see them when I am out and about and catch up.

There is one woman who I don't see or speak to anywhere near enough, whom I adore and I thought she was a complete bitch for the first few months I knew her. Couldn't stand to be near her. She is actually one of the kindest and most wonderful people you could ever hope to meet... Thanks for the reminder I will ring her this weekend!!!
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Old 28th November 2014, 11:55 AM   #57
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The two women I consider to be my best friends were met at college or during charity work. Both have been supportive through times of extreme distress and hardship. Its not just about being sociable. One watched me walk up and down a room for 3 days during a nervous break down and I can tell you I would not have been able to get out of that room with out her. She helped me start shopping again and do all the normal every day things that we take for granted.
It's ok, I just don't need that kind of support. I've never had it,and I've learned to live without it. I grew up tough. I've been through things that would break a lot of women/people with very little help.


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I barely talk to any of the women I have met through work. Work is competitive. Outside the office not so.

Put a bunch of women into the same room and your looking for explosions! I rarely found a strong connection with any of the women I have worked with. That said, I am still happy to see them when I am out and about and catch up.

There is one woman who I don't see or speak to anywhere near enough, whom I adore and I thought she was a complete bitch for the first few months I knew her. Couldn't stand to be near her. She is actually one of the kindest and most wonderful people you could ever hope to meet... Thanks for the reminder I will ring her this weekend!!!
iA, work, is not the place to make female friends.
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