Help, need advice.

[J100]

My best friend, she annoys me sometimes. She always seems to think that just because I don't call her back that I'm ignoring her and she gripes about it. This past week I've been busy, waking up at 7 AM working till 5, then doing a boat load of other stuff in the evening and by the time I even get home (usually at 9 PM) I'm so tired that I just fall asleep, and it's been that way for the past week. She works like 7-days a week so I can't just call her during the day, and when she's home I was busy out doing other stuff.

 

I'm still backed up on stuff I'm suppose to be getting done, and then all next week I'm gonna be busy and tied up during the evenings so probably won't have a chance to call her.

 

Friday evening I had just gotten home when her sister called and by chane I had my cell phone with me so I answered, well my friend found out and got mad. Now I don't always have my cell phone with me, for one what I would'n't been able to talk anyways and my hands are tied up anyways so I didn't carry it with me at all last week.

 

But I just got home, her sister called and we talked for a bit and hung up and I was dead tired and immediately fell asleep. Well my friend finds out and leaves this voice mail about how I ignore her and to "bitch" me out for not calling her back.

 

Why the hell am I obligated to call her back? She has a damn husband, I'm busy doing my own crap and trying to play catchup so yeah - I've been pretty damn busy this past week... now she's upset and like I really want to call her now only to hear her gripe about how I didn't give her my utmost undivided attention.

 

I'm so f'n tired of people relying on me, people griping about crap, getting mad, making it seem as though they depend on me and MUST talk to me during every wakening hour of the day.

 

Advice please, what do I say to her? How do I deal with her crap?

[simplybrill]

Honestly? You have a life, and she has a life (im hoping here) so next time she calls and if you feel like picking up, just talk as if she werent being a time-leech. If she does start griping at you about how you're answering when her sister calls, but not when she calls,;just tell her the truth: that it happened by chance that you had a free minute to talk then, but its not like you're avoiding her altogether. Hopefully this will help her understand that you're both busy people.

 

Yes, she has a husband, but its important for women who are married to upkeep their friend groups outside their marriage so they will have a life outside of their husband - so they're not so dependent on him for their happiness. This is not to say that she's totally right in acting like you're supposed to be her sole source of happiness either. It sounds like she should join something in the community to fill her time, volunteering, reading to kids at the library, something else but calling you non-stop.

[whichwayisup]

How about a completely different approach! DO you love your bestfriend? Do you want to continue your friendship with her? If yes, then make 2 secs out of your day to call her back or surprise her, leave a message saying Hey just thought I'd say hi and stuff, can't talk but wanted to let you know I was thinkin' about ya!! Something nice. To me, always telling her HOW busy you are probably makes her feel unimportant in your life. Try exchanges emails too. Just a suggestion.

 

Also there seems to be ALOT of resentment on eachside here, so I guess you both need to talk as well and set some ground rules. Sister or another friend who happened to catch ya at the right moment, she is only feeling neglected and hurt..Prob seems to her you have time for others but not her.