Kelly M Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Me and my guy friend got into a mature argument and I wasn't speaking to him cause I needed time to think. Well, he is kinda known for being a *******, and he jokes around alot to the point where it's extreme. He never really acted like a jerk with me only this one time. Well we weren't talking to each other, but then my mother called him cause my horrible and vicious brother pulled a fake 302 on me, which means I had a warrant out to go to the mental hospital. The cops were at my house to arrest me, but since I was out, the cops issued a warrant and my mother then caleld my guy friend. He seemed concerned and my mom told him not to tell me, but he called me up and said "Listen Danielle, you have a warrant out to go to the mental hospital, your borther is a little bitch that issued a 302, you have to turn yourself in, you'll be out quicker, but DON'T GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE! The cops will come back and you don't want to get arrested and all that, just meet me at Jenkins Restaurant right now!" I was scared, confused and shocked that my brother would do that, so I met my guy friend at the restaurant and he was giving me advice, and he was saying how much he hates my brother for doing that to me. Well while I was at the stupid mental hospital, my mother and father were telling the doctors it's false accusations, and my brother is wrong, my parents were livid! My guy friend called up my brother and threatened him and everything! He was calling him names and saying "How could you do this to your sister!" "You're so evil dude!" He then incessantly called my dad that night and the next day he incessantly called me, and texted me "Are you home?" I responded saying how trauamtized and hurt I was and then he tried calling me again, but I didn't answer cause I couldn't talk. But did that show that he cared? He is not known for showing care, lol! My dad even said that my guy friend said "Danielle is one of my best friends" He seemed legit worried, but now he is not really contacting me, but see I think it's because I said to him through text that I couldn't talk cause i'm traumatized, and maybe he's just waiting for me to contact him. So that's weird to me, lol! Cause like I said he is known for not caring for anyone, he's kinda an *******, so what do you think? Do you think I should thank him? or do you think it's something else? Give your opinion on this, thanks alot! Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 OF COURSE you should thank him for his care, concern and the time he made for you to be there for you and support you through your trauma! (How is that even a question for you?) AND THEN you could return the favour and start fixing the wrong impression that people have about this guy. He might be a 'hole sometimes but that is not all that he is; you have benefited directly, experienced personally...you know he can also be a caring friend. And maybe he is only a 'hole to people who are jerks or arrogant or unappreciative or selfish, self-absorbed or whatever (which, those kinds of people haven't earned too much kindness and goodwill anyway). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 OF COURSE you should thank him for his care, concern and the time he made for you to be there for you and support you through your trauma! (How is that even a question for you?) AND THEN you could return the favour and start fixing the wrong impression that people have about this guy. He might be a 'hole sometimes but that is not all that he is; you have benefited directly, experienced personally...you know he can also be a caring friend. And maybe he is only a 'hole to people who are jerks or arrogant or unappreciative or selfish, self-absorbed or whatever (which, those kinds of people haven't earned too much kindness and goodwill anyway). Well he is a ahole at times, and people warned me about him, but I didn't listen to my friends or people for that matter cause I still kept on hanging out with him. Me and my guy friend have grown closer and I helped him through alot of his troubles, so maybe he felt he needed to return the favor? Not that he has too! Cause I don't expect to get favors back when I help someone out, I'm just saying maybe that's what he thought. You're right though! I should thank him, I am just shocked cause like I said he was kinda rude with me and we even had an argument like a month ago and we weren't talking to each other, but he really stepped in, and helped me out. just wanted to see what other people think, but thanks for the advice! I will thank him! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 First, I think somebody needs to turn your brother in for filing a false report. Wasting the time of first responders & taking them away from legitimate crisis is a CRIME. Your brother needs to go to jail & be fined the costs of all the personnel whose time he wasted. Your guy friend seems concerned but over the top. 1-2 calls / texts would have been sufficient but that many, to that many different people seems over the top. Sticking his nose in your family business -- to commit another crime (threatening your brother) -- also doesn't see all that stable. You can thank him for his concerns but get him to power down / back off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 There's lots of people, and I am one, who can be aloof and not very social. But if something important happens and a friend or acquaintance or even the nextdoor neighbor needs help, they will come help. That means the guy has some decency, yes. People aren't all one way or the other though, and the fact he can be an ahole is a fact you should not forget. If he seems mainly snarky to women, he may have grown up with a dad with no respect for his mom and he might be an ahole to women his whole life, though he might help one if in a jam like you were. I know a guy like that. He's a bad alcoholic and has just gotten snarkier and more obnoxious and drunker with age -- but probably if an old acquaintance was in trouble, he'd try to step up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 First, I think somebody needs to turn your brother in for filing a false report. Wasting the time of first responders & taking them away from legitimate crisis is a CRIME. Your brother needs to go to jail & be fined the costs of all the personnel whose time he wasted. Your guy friend seems concerned but over the top. 1-2 calls / texts would have been sufficient but that many, to that many different people seems over the top. Sticking his nose in your family business -- to commit another crime (threatening your brother) -- also doesn't see all that stable. You can thank him for his concerns but get him to power down / back off. I am going to press charges cause my brother was just mad cause I called him and his girlfriend "sociopaths" and he literally went and filed a 302 cause he is a vindictive *******, but honestly my guy friend wasn't sticking his nose in our business cause my mom was the one that called him first and told him everything, but he really did help me out. I am going to contact him, it's just I am trying to deal with my trauma, I literally haven't been able to contact anyone or talk to anyone cause of this experience and it's so traumatizing to me. But you are right him threatening my brother doesn't help anything, but it was just weird that he was that upset cause he never really gets upset or gets involved or showed me that he cares about me like that, but thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 Ok, I texted him and said "Hey! I just wanted to let you know much I appreciate you for helping me out in that horrible situation. I am still trying to work through the trauma, but if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know what to do, and I would be in utter confusion, and for that I thank you, lol! I'm not drunk or high, just letting you know how much I appreciate you! <3 :)" He replied with "Lol. Anytime Danielle. Seriously." But it's just weird cause he hasn't contacted me, and I don't know what he means by seriously? lol! But I did thank him, but why does he tell other people things, but he doesn't tell me? Like he told my dad that I am "one of his best friends" and it was my dad that told me that he threatened and bitched my brother out, but for some reason my guy friend won't tell me that and I don't understand that? lol! Do you think my text was weird or good? I personally don't understand the "Seriously" part of his text, haha! Any opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Ok, I texted him and said "Hey! I just wanted to let you know much I appreciate you for helping me out in that horrible situation. I am still trying to work through the trauma, but if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know what to do, and I would be in utter confusion, and for that I thank you, lol! I'm not drunk or high, just letting you know how much I appreciate you! <3 :)" He replied with "Lol. Anytime Danielle. Seriously." But it's just weird cause he hasn't contacted me, and I don't know what he means by seriously? lol! But I did thank him, but why does he tell other people things, but he doesn't tell me? Like he told my dad that I am "one of his best friends" and it was my dad that told me that he threatened and bitched my brother out, but for some reason my guy friend won't tell me that and I don't understand that? lol! Do you think my text was weird or good? I personally don't understand the "Seriously" part of his text, haha! Any opinions? It means he genuinely cares about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kelly M Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 It means he genuinely cares about you. You really think so? His reply seemed very short and vague to me, as if he didn't care, but oh well, lol! Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 You really think so? His reply seemed very short and vague to me, as if he didn't care, but oh well, lol! Thank you! Yes I think so, but it's a big difference between caring and loving someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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