dudley87 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Hi all, basically me an my friend fell out about6 weeks ago and it was over something petty and i was to blame for it; we exchanged a few words and i got pretty heated up an said some nasty things which i regret now; anyway a few weeks after the row i text her to wish her a nice xmas and i said i would like to get our friendship back to the way it was an she said she would think about it; i never spoke to her after this instead i sent her a bouquet of flowers and a card an a couple if gifts to say im sorry and that i would like to work things out between us; now we are talking but not 100%; its not the same as before but she never texts me first or calls; so iv asked her tonight if she would like to give this friendship a fresh start an go for it; she replied; i do t know what to say i dont want to upset you, what should i do? Shall i just walk away for good now because iv tried my best but she still sees me like the day we argued; she wouldnt spare ten mins yesterday to meet me an have a quick chat; she said she would think about it and never got in contact :s Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Did you outright apologize to her? If so, there's not much else you can do. Don't keep pushing the issue... you'll make it worse. Give her space and hopefully she'll come around. But if she wants space, you have to respect her wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudley87 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 Yea i apologised to her outright; i really love her and i dont wanna lose her; i think i should back off and see if she comes round if she doesnt then il have my answer wont i? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justinewong Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Hi all, basically me an my friend fell out about6 weeks ago and it was over something petty and i was to blame for it; we exchanged a few words and i got pretty heated up an said some nasty things which i regret now; anyway a few weeks after the row i text her to wish her a nice xmas and i said i would like to get our friendship back to the way it was an she said she would think about it; i never spoke to her after this instead i sent her a bouquet of flowers and a card an a couple if gifts to say im sorry and that i would like to work things out between us; now we are talking but not 100%; its not the same as before but she never texts me first or calls; so iv asked her tonight if she would like to give this friendship a fresh start an go for it; she replied; i do t know what to say i dont want to upset you, what should i do? Shall i just walk away for good now because iv tried my best but she still sees me like the day we argued; she wouldnt spare ten mins yesterday to meet me an have a quick chat; she said she would think about it and never got in contact :s Give her space. Take this as a lesson next time. I had a fall out with a friend. Basically, he constantly dog me in events, and constantly acting like a little bitch. Anyway, we argued, and after he and his gf broke up (they only dated for 4 weeks, go figured). He started apologising to ALL his friends. Most of his friends (including me) didn't really accept his apology because: a) We already know what type of person he is capable of being (e.g. a person who would ditch evrything for a girl) b) We also know that he only apologize because he lost his girl (what's stopping the same thing from happening next time). c) Once you lost the trust over a friend, it's hard to regain that trust again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudley87 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 When i questioned if she wanted my friendship rather than me trying for something that she doesnt want she replied: i dont know i dont want to upset you, does that basically mean no? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 A lot of women are too empathetic to want to hurt someone's feelings. With her comment "I don't want to hurt you," that is what she means. She means, don't make me say it and hurt your feelings. You must totally back off. Honestly, she may be relieved you're gone and that may be the last your hear from her. But it's your only chance that she might relax and come back around, but you must lay off now, totally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 (edited) People need time to process things. It's a personal, emotional thing to sort out how one feels about what transpired. The very best thing you can do is honor her right to sort this out, on her own. She may come around, she may not. But as you said... you will have your answer eventually. Try to be patient (hard, I know). Edit to add: wait a minute. Did you two quarrel because you made a romantic move on her? Your OP doesn't say anything like that, but your followup, When i questioned if she wanted my friendship rather than me trying for something that she doesnt want... ... makes it sound like you tried to form a romantic connection with her and were spurned. If that's the case, this is a whole other ballgame. Edited January 13, 2014 by nescafe1982 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudley87 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 We used to be together as gf an bf over a year ago; i text her today because she never replied to me and i asked her what her decision is she said "you can text me whenever im fine with that" so i said no i wont text you if you dont want to be friends because theres no point and that i will walk she replied " cant you just chill and go with the flow" i mean shes not saying yes or no to the friendship; im really confused its peein me off Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 In light of the romantic history, sending her flowers and making big gestures was a HUGE mistake. You texting her today was also a big mistake. If you two have history, it's even more important you respect her request for space. Really... you shouldn't be bothering her with "have you made a decision" text messages and all that nonsense. Let her control the situation for a bit... otherwise you come off looking manipulative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudley87 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 So do i just leave her alone then; because her term of just go with the flow confuses me Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 So do i just leave her alone then; because her term of just go with the flow confuses me Follow her lead. Wait for her to approach you about hanging out again. But yes, for now, leave her alone. She'll come around when/if she's ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dudley87 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Ok i will leave her alone and see if she comes round; i very much doubt it but you never know what i find strange is that when i asked her if she wanted my friendship she didnt say yes an she never said no to not wanting the friendship instead she just said just go with the flow :s Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 You know what? Your best case scenario here is she is totally ambivalent. Why hang onto that? Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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