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When your friends change their lifestyle


Fluttershy

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I have been friends with this other couple for a long time. Recently they opened up their marriage not for me but no biggie. But then they got involved with a young woman who is 16 years younger just in her twenties. And it went from just fun into the bedroom into polygamy. They all live together and the husband and the new wife are all over each other. You know the old "get a room"? Like that. Humping, making sexual gestuares in front of everyone. Hands everywhere. I have never wanted to be a judgmental person of other people's chosen lifestyles but... Hell, this is getting really uncomfortable. How do you get past it? It isn't that I think poly relationships are "wrong" it is just with this girl so young I question the wisdom of them making life plans. I also wonder how her friends feel that she has an almost 40 boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Everyone seems to think it is awesome and cool and I outwardly agree but inside I mustn't like it or otherwise why do I want to decline invitations where they are or feel uncomfortable with the PDA? How do you stop feeling that way?

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I wouldn't bother trying to stop feeling how you do. If they make you uncomfortable to be around then I'd say don't spend as much time with them. Find some other people to spend time with and eventually you won't mind. Might be a time for new friends if the friends you have make you uncomfortable. Let them live their life and surround yourself with people who don't make you uncomfortable.

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I find it a little creepy, even though I myself lived in a commune. But not with 40-year-olds! I also had a couple of friends with open marriages and I was a bit uncomfortable there too because one invites you over and you have no idea if it's a setup.

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Just be careful that at some point they try to get you involved. Someone mixing the Kool Aid?

 

Lol, nothing like that. It is far above board. It is more their attitude seems to me almost arrogent about their "awesome" new lifestyle. And that the exessive PDAs are just to rub it in everyone's face. And then I feel judgemental for feeling that way. But to be fair I have never been a huge fan of people being exessive with PDA when it is a traditional relationship. But probably my issue.

 

The other problem I know is the age gap. I mean how can such a young woman know she wants to commit to these guys long term? They shoild realize she is too young to be brought into their already very volitile relationship... I know this for fact. It just seems like asking for trouble.

 

I guess I never thought i had a problem with alternative relationships until one was shoved in my face. I had no problem with their discreet swinging.

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But to be fair I have never been a huge fan of people being exessive with PDA when it is a traditional relationship. But probably my issue.

 

It's not just you. A lot of people have an issue with excessive PDAs. Humping? Hands everywhere? It's gross. This applies to any couple.

 

The other problem I know is the age gap. I mean how can such a young woman know she wants to commit to these guys long term? They shoild realize she is too young to be brought into their already very volitile relationship... I know this for fact. It just seems like asking for trouble.

 

This part, though, is pretty much none of your business. They're all adults and they're all going to make their own bad decisions. You don't have to agree with it. You just have to decide whether or not to still be friends with people who do things you don't agree with. That's totally up to you.

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It is more their attitude seems to me almost arrogent about their "awesome" new lifestyle. And that the exessive PDAs are just to rub it in everyone's face.

 

People who aren't sure if they're doing the right thing go out of their way to seek validation. That's why the constant effusion about their awesome lifestyle. Just say "whatever floats your boat" without enthusiasm, roll your eyes, and change the subject.

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Thanks everybody, I think I'll just take a step back. In time they may get things in order and start acting less showy. I just find we are so often condemned in modern society for feeling uncomfortable. And really, how I feel

Is how I feel. It's not like I am bad mouthing them or trying tonget everyone against them. In fact I haven't talked to anyone besides my husband aboit this IRL. Thanks again.

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"You know the old "get a room"? Like that. Humping, making sexual gestuares in front of everyone."

 

That would be annoying, regardless of it was with the young gal, his wife or some other woman.

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"You know the old "get a room"? Like that. Humping, making sexual gestuares in front of everyone."

 

That would be annoying, regardless of it was with the young gal, his wife or some other woman.

 

The last time that put me over the edge and caused me to post this was when she was sitting across from him in a living room, spreadin her legs in a short skirt. So he, and everyone else, could see up her dress. And he made gestures to encourage it. They acted like no one could see. I wish I was braver and had calle them on it.

 

At least she had panties on... Really pretty ones that clashed with her skirt :p

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Poly or not, groping and making out like that in front of others is just rude.

 

I'd either laugh it off and make a joke about it in front of them all.

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