Does she like me more than a friend?

[butterfly_dance]

I am female and have a close female friend who I believe may have deep feelings for me more than just a friend - I also believe she is a closet lesbian/bi. There have been a number of instances where she has displayed flirtatious behavior, not to mention being possessive. If I am talking to people she will come up and hug me around the chest from behind. I have caught her looking at me through the corner of my eye and whenever we are walking next to each other she will ensure her arm brushes mine every time.

 

Reading up on body language, she exhibits nearly all the signs. The latest is she kissed her fingers then placed them on my cheek. I have never had any other friend do that!

 

She is in a relationship with a man, which is not a good one.

 

Any thoughts would be helpful.

[nescafe1982]

I gather that you're a lesbian? Are you interested in this girl?

 

If so, I would avoid chasing a straight woman who's in a relationship, even a bad one. That won't work out well for anyone. If she is interested in you (and she may just have a flirty personality... she may not be expressing genuine interest ar all), she will end her relationship in time.

 

Some considerations:

 

1) If she's in a relationship and you pursue her, she's going to be very, very confused. She needs to be unattached before she can entertain any other romantic relationships;

 

2) This is especially the case if she is to entertain a same-sex relationship, if she has no experience with these;

 

3) And if she is indeed "in the closet," it is HER decision, no one else's, to come out when and how she pleases. If you feel something between you two but she hasn't declared her sexuality yet, putting pressure on her is not a good idea. Period. She needs to do this herself.

 

All of those bullet points depend on the assumption that she is into you, though... and she might not be. So again I ask, are you into her? Do you have romantic attraction to her? If so, it's entirely possible that you're projecting your own feelings onto the object of your affection.

 

If I were in you're shoes, I'd stay friends but avoid pursuing her. See what happens when/if she leaves her BF. But for now, she's basically off limits.

[butterfly_dance]

Oh there is a complete misunderstanding here and you have interpreted my post incorrectly. I am not lesbian, nor do I have or have had any gay tendencies or curiosity. I have, in fact, been happily married to my husband for 5 years.

 

Perhaps I should have provided insight into my personal relationship and sexual preference in the initial post, that way there would not have been incorrect assumptions made about this situation.

 

Thankyou for your comment, however you are way off the mark.

[nescafe1982]

Oh, my bad.

 

This makes things easier. If her behavior makes you uncomfortable (e.g. touching, possessiveness, etc), draw a firm boundary with her.

 

As for questions about her sexuality and/or relationship status, don't get too concerned or invested in that... it's her stuff to sort out. Your role as friend is to support her, not figure her out.