Not Fitting In Anymore

[DallasGirl25]

My second time posting. I don't post much as you can see, I apologize, but I love reading this forum . It helps a lot. Lately, this friend who's just had a baby a few months ago I feel like I don't fit into her world any more. I know having a baby changes people, hopefully for the better and I know this baby will make her see things and she'll learn things that she's never felt or seen before. And I was thrilled and overjoyed that she had her little girl even when she didn't think she wanted one until she was pregnant. I guess I'm a little jealous because I would love to have kids one day myself. I'm not afraid to admit that, but I think for women that's a normal feeling.

 

However, when your single and unattached (not that it's her fault, I know that) you hear your friend constantly talk about her baby every single day and how she relates everything to her baby and being a mom - to which point it's extremely annoying me (and I thought it would die down by now), but I don't ever say anything because I don't want to hurt her feelings at all and it's rude and mean. I work with kids I'm training to be a teacher. I know though I can't relate to being a mom at all. I also had I feel introduced her to online journaling she's met some new online friends that I feel she's becoming more close to and now I feel like that I'm also making new acquaintances/friends I'm feeling left out I guess from her. Though I've always felt that she never has seen me as a best friend like I have with her and I feel odd because I don't feel that close to her any more to tell her this.

 

I'm hoping this is a normal feeling I've seen friends drift apart from when people have children, it's happened with me, but for some reason that's had time and that's a different story. I never thought it would happen with her and this early.

 

So I'm not sure what to ask. Should I just take it easy and not read her journal for a while and back off? I don't want to ignore her though if she e-mails me I just mean stop reading her journal for a while. Or should I get over it and shrug it off as I keep making new friends because then I'm thinking when I do more of that this feeling will go away. I know sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. But I also know I can't be the only one who goes through this constantly ... so it seems.

[RoboHobo]

Hey DallasGirl25,

 

If she is your best friend I don't think that you should throw that away. If what she is saying on the journal is upsetting you don't read it for a while, but don't ignore her emails. You guys are friends and should be there for each other. Her life has changed drastically, she now has a life that is dependent on her. It's natural that she will talk about the baby because that is largely her world now. Sure continue to make friends, you can never have too many friends, but remember that a couple months down the line things will settle down a bit. For now, when you guys talk try to push the conversation into a direction that you would like to go. She will keep on bringing up the baby, everyone would want to tell their new friend about this great a change in their life. Just don't let her hog the conversation.

 

If things don't work out between you two you will slowly drift apart, while you still have your best friend cherish her.

[Debster]

i think it is pretty normal that you are feeling a little left out. I felt much the same way when all of my friends were getting married and having children. Not everyone goes through the same thing at the same time. There will be some growth differences, but friendships survive. If you are true friends, you will become close again.