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no freinds


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i'm a 23 yr old college student: what i am hear to ask is how come i don;t have any freinds. well its kinda a normal since when i was younger i was always a loner-elemntary to highschool and even now. i kinda of sick of being a loner and want freinds i mean freinds u hang with-movies, going out, picking up gal, play b ball with. i got plenty of aquitances and all but that all. i talk to ppl but some ppl seem to not want to open up, they do their thing-research project in school or something and move on. most ppl i find already have thier own group. i lack mine. i wonder what would happen if i ever had a gf since i never even had one before what i would say she want to meet me firends -what do i say "i have none" lol she might laugh in my face

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After high school I met most of my friends working in restaurants b/c everyone tends to hang out after work to unwind. It's a great part time job so a lot of the other employees may be in school too. If you have time this is a great way to meet people AND make lots of $$.

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except for age joel, you sound EXACTLY like me. EXACTLY. 20 years old, and theres only 1 i consider a friend on any level. my situation is similar, i only seem to connect 1-on-1 with people who already have their own thing going. acquaintances tell me to be myself or what have you, being myself has gotten me nowhere since 9th grade. unlike you though (probably), ive been told that i look unapproachable because my natural facial expression is serious. combine it with the fact that i have a sense of style thats hiphop influenced (jeans, Air Jordans, etc) and ive gotten vibes/comments ranging from he's mad about something to hes sad about something to he looks like a thug. i dont know what to tell you tho, you just got to try to get out there. the advice about jobs is good, you could try to find something in common with co-workers and hang out with them. and about the g/f issue, i never had one before either, i wouldnt know what to tell her when she would want to meet my so called friends, id be embarassed beyond belief. youre not the only one in the world who feels this way joel, so keep your head up.

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XCorvidophiliaX

Wow, I am exactly the same way. Ever since elementary school I've had one really close friends and all aquaintances. I have had bf's but then it's still just my good friend and my bf. Everyone tells my fiance that I always look mad about something. I actually saw a show about this I don't remember details but it was talking about the 20 year olds of today and how they all look serious to (subconsiously) make people leave them alone. I'd say if you don't have any friends at all to find something that you're passionate about whether it be playing guitar or playing basketball and hang out there, a lot. Find someone who is there all the time walk through any anxiety and talk to them. You may just kind the best friend you've ever had.

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what i read in pscyology book aboyt friendship was that good looking ppl guys or gals tend to attract more freinds and ppl they also got jobs easier. not sure but i don't think i'm ugly i even been told i was good looking , just by of older women, guys. i do though wear old looking second hand clothes but changing now got some newer clothes but nothing special wal mart stuff

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If you want friends you have to go out and try to make them. If you make friends based on what you wear, then they won't really be true friends. You need to go out and meet people who will like you for who you are. Find someone who is interested in the same things you are, maybe join some clubs or something. What do you like to do? Maybe there's some groups in your town that have activites you could participate in and meet people.

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Some tips to making friends are:

 

- Be nice. People like to hang around others who are friendly, but not pushovers.

 

- Joke around. Don't take everything so seriously. Life is meant to be big fun, you're not hurting anyone, nobody loses.

 

- Don't appear desperate. DO NOT appear as tho you are TRYING to make friends. You should just sort of become friends with someone naturally. Nothing is more 'annoying' (and i use the word loosely) when you can sense the person has no friends, and they are trying really hard to be your friend.

 

- Be yourself, to an extent. Some of the people at our school who don't really have any friends are the people that seem 'fake'. They wear their hat slightly sideways (wigger style) when their personality don't match that at all. They think they're cool, but you can just sort of tell that they are trying to 'fit in'. If they would just act normally, and not 'fake' then maybe they would attract more friends.

 

People who don't have a bunch of close friends can make new ones easily....as per below.

 

An example is that I recently became friends with this guy who I sat next to in class. I thought he was a pretty cool guy, friendly etc. A little while later, I found out that he didn't really have any friends. Sure he had some aquaintences, but no one really close to hang out with. This really surprised me, because he didn't give off the sense at all that he was desperate to make friends....which made it easy to develop a friendship. He didn't seem fake, like he was trying to be someone he wasn't. He joked around a lot, didn't take everything very seriously, and was a pretty nice guy.

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