My only friend that I lost

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Let me say first that I am 20 years old with no friends, and no life. I lost a person that I considered my friend. Never had a childhood or a teenhood, I know alot of people, but I wouldn't call them friends. Some of them only call me if they want something, otherwise I am ignored. My dad has a construction company and he hired this new guy Sam who I instantly liked. I liked how funny, cute, and smart he was, and we had good chemistry with each other. He would text me incessantly, and call me, but I didn't look into it cause I am so desperate to have fun, and to have friends that I overlooked it. I noticed though Sam started to become obsessed with my dad and me. He would act like my dad is his dad, and we thought nothing of it, cause Sam lost his dad to cancer 3 years ago and his dad was emotionally and mentally abusive cause he was a alcoholic and a cocaine user. SO we let that go. But he started to become obsessive with me, he would question my where abouts, and when I was sleeping in the living room he questioned where I was last night, and tried to take my blanket off of me, and he took pics of me, and I was creeped out, he was laughing as he was doing this, but then he said "Who's dick were you sucking?" Again my desperation to have fun got in the way so I overlooked it again.

 

Sam constantly was trying with me. He tried to have sex with me, date me, kiss me, and so on, but I always rejected cause I just want friends I don't want a boyfriend or a hookup right now. Well Sam is really close to my family my dad invited him to alot of events, and I had so much fun! I have so much fun with Sam that I considered him as a friend, and I was finally content in my life. I loved being around him, but alot of people told me he beat the crap out of his ex a year ago, and he does Cocaine, and is a Alcoholic, also had Bipolar Disorder.

 

Well, Sam posted on his Facebook that he was working tomorrow, and my dad told my mom to tell him that he doesn't need him tomorrow and that he'll need him next week. Well Sam got really mad, "I am never working for Bob again, that is the final f**kin straw, he just doesn't want to pay $130" "I am hurt I thought Bob was my friend, He betrayed me" "I hope he ***in dies! I hate him" We all were shocked! My dad was not maliciously trying to not use him for a job. He needed him next week, but Sam couldn't understand that he just didn't need him for that particular day. So Sam texted my brother saying how much he hates my dad and hopes he dies, and he said "I thought he was my friend, how could he do this to me!" Wtf is he thinking?! My dad is not betraying him! He defriended my mom on facebook when my mom was being super nice and neutral, but yet he deletes her. I was waiting for vicious texts or calls but he didn't call me but he did text me and it was weird. Here it is

 

"Your daughter shut the f**k up you stupid piece of s**t. All you did was donate your sperm. u did nothing else. Nothing. You're useless!!!"

 

"How do I respond to that?"

 

I'm thinking what is the purpose of this text? So I said "Who said that to you?" He said "Lacy, lol!" (his ex) I said "I would just not respond, don't give her what she wants!" and he didn't text back. I am so angry, stupid and I hate myself. I am so blind to what he really is, and I kept letting it go. I am depressed now cause my fun with Sam was short lived, and now I have to struggle to have fun where as before, it was easy cause he was down to do anything. Plus the fact that I will never see him again, hurts as well. Why do you think he texted me that? It was a day later after all what happened with him and my dad, but my dad didn't respond to his texts or his calls. In the past he did talk about his ex to me, and confided in me. I am just so angry though that he said that about my dad and defriended my mom on facebook, I hate him, but I am also depressed and wish that none of this never happened. What do you think? Any thoughts? Thank you so much for reading, I greatly appreciate it, oh and he is 26, just to let you guys know. Thank you!

[Toddbt12y1]

26 or 200, this guy is a total nut-case. You really need to get him totally and absolutely out of your life! You are not losing nothing from having him leave your life! He: abuses his ex(dont doubt it after his outrageous burst over your father not needing him to work); tried taking pictures of you; invades your space, and violates you, by removing your blanket, whilst sleeping. Does drugs: threatens your father. This is not a friend!

 

This is a future killer, and or a future PoS, of course, he already is a piece of ****, for acting how he does.

 

Why do you need to feel like you lost a friend? He was not your friend. This guy seems crazy; and could hurt you. Friends do not do this to one another. You are putting yourself and family at harm; get rid of him. Your dad should get rid of him.

 

What is stopping you from making more friends? What is stopping you from having a life? heck, I will be your friend, if you get rid of him! Your dad is smart, but he should fire the guy, if he hasn't yet. This guy is dangerous!

 

He shouldn't talk to you this way; shouldn't talk to your mother in this manner; nor your dad. He is bad in every possible way. Eliminate this trash from your life. You may think it sucks, but it would be infinitely better to be lonely, and have no friends: then have one who would potentially hurt you or those you love.

[CC12]

Why do you think he texted me that?

 

Maybe because he wanted your pity? Like a "Woe is me, look how mean people are to me." Or he just wanted your attention.

 

Don't look too deep into it. This is not someone you should have in your life. He oversteps boundaries, says inappropriate things to you, makes you uncomfortable, and reacts to anger in an explosive way. I'm sorry you lost a friend, but it's better to have no friends than to have one like him.

 

But keep trying to meet new people and make friends. Do you go to school? Are there any clubs you can join? Any social hobbies that you might enjoy?

[Onward_Upward]

... But he started to become obsessive with me, he would question my where abouts, and when I was sleeping in the living room he questioned where I was last night, and tried to take my blanket off of me, and he took pics of me, and I was creeped out, he was laughing as he was doing this, but then he said "Who's dick were you sucking?" ...

 

My God... this is absolutely horrifying.

 

I'm not sure you fully realize it, but this is one dangerous man. I've met his type... He is EXCEEDINGLY jealous (to the point of violence), and if you ever made the mistake of actually going out with him, mark my words, he WILL eventually become absolutely controlling of everything you do, after which he will beat you mercilessly.

 

Please, as others have said above... STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

 

The reason why he has been nice to you thus far, is because he is "grooming" you. At first the abuser gets the confidence of their potential victim... Then, once you are in "love" with him, he will start to put you down, in order to make you feel inferior. He will then work on separating you from your family... Finally, once he has control over your mind, he will start beating your body... And to make things worse, he will blame YOU, for his behavior.

 

I note also that you don't have many, if any, friends... I also note that you are generally very lonely... You are the perfect candidate for this type of abuser.

 

Please, save yourself enormous torment, and remove this man from your life.

 

Right now, you are standing on a precipice... You are at a very important crossroad in your life. For yours, and your family's sake, make the right decision. REMOVE THIS MAN FROM YOUR LIFE.

 

I'm sorry for the tone of this post, but I'm genuinely scared for you.

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Hi! Thank you for answering, I appreciate it! My dad did fire him, but I know that if my dad knew what he did prior my dad would've fired him prior but that's my fault. I didn't tell my dad what Sam did and how he tried to go out with me and stuff, my parents and brother were oblivious. My dad is a very caring dad, but if you mess with him or his family, it's like watch out, lol! But I am more dissapointed about the whole situation. I do know alot of people, but I don't relate to them. The people I hang around are nothing like me. I like to have fun, and I am free spirited and the people I hang around are obsessed with religion or politics or both, and those are constant subjects, that I can't be bothered with. The people that do contact me use me, so I don't have any rela friend just a bunch of aquaintenances. Sam provided aot of fun for me, and like I said because of my desperation and indenial, I didn't want to believe that there was something seriously wrong with Sam, cause I liked being around him and was having so much fun with him that I just wanted to be indenial. Deep down I knew, though. Thanks again! <3 one love

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Maybe because he wanted your pity? Like a "Woe is me, look how mean people are to me." Or he just wanted your attention.

 

Don't look too deep into it. This is not someone you should have in your life. He oversteps boundaries, says inappropriate things to you, makes you uncomfortable, and reacts to anger in an explosive way. I'm sorry you lost a friend, but it's better to have no friends than to have one like him.

 

But keep trying to meet new people and make friends. Do you go to school? Are there any clubs you can join? Any social hobbies that you might enjoy?

 

Thank you so much for answering! I do realize that he is inappropriate and crazy, but it still hurts to be close to someone and to think they are your friend when they are just crazy. It hurts me cause I have no friends like I said, and honestly I did the whole church thing, and since I am not into religion it didn't work out well. I know alot of people, but I just don't relate to them, therefore I don't hang out with them. Also the people that contact me are the ones that use me. I am working on my GED to go to college. Thanks for your suggestions though! And I know time will heal. but it's the point that I feel like I can't win, I thought I had a friend, and I don't and I am obviously the type o person that is so indenial that it gets in the way of my safety, and that is scary! Cause then I will never be safe, cause I will always be thinking "Maybe you're over thinking" "Maybe you're paranoid" "He won't do that to you though" Like I said though it hurts, and I am severely depressed and just hate how everything is going. I can't gain friends, and now I am just gonna go back to a boring life, and not have fun anymore cause I don't have Sam around. Thanks again! Take care! <3 one love

[BrunetteBabe1005]

My God... this is absolutely horrifying.

 

I'm not sure you fully realize it, but this is one dangerous man. I've met his type... He is EXCEEDINGLY jealous (to the point of violence), and if you ever made the mistake of actually going out with him, mark my words, he WILL eventually become absolutely controlling of everything you do, after which he will beat you mercilessly.

 

Please, as others have said above... STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

 

The reason why he has been nice to you thus far, is because he is "grooming" you. At first the abuser gets the confidence of their potential victim... Then, once you are in "love" with him, he will start to put you down, in order to make you feel inferior. He will then work on separating you from your family... Finally, once he has control over your mind, he will start beating your body... And to make things worse, he will blame YOU, for his behavior.

 

I note also that you don't have many, if any, friends... I also note that you are generally very lonely... You are the perfect candidate for this type of abuser.

 

Please, save yourself enormous torment, and remove this man from your life.

 

Right now, you are standing on a precipice... You are at a very important crossroad in your life. For yours, and your family's sake, make the right decision. REMOVE THIS MAN FROM YOUR LIFE.

 

I'm sorry for the tone of this post, but I'm genuinely scared for you.

 

No, I appreciate your post! I didn't take it like your post has a tone, thanks for answering! I understood from the very beginning that this guy was bad news, but like I said, my desperation and me being indenial got in the way, and I thought to myself "Maybe your paranoid" But since everyone is posting that he is dangerous, basically, then that validates that I wasn't paranoid. That's why I kept backburning the situation, cause I was so much fun with Sam that is was almost like "How could this guy be a psycho, I am having so much fun with him" It was that kind of thinking, and now I am scared for myself cause I realized how much I put my safety at risk, and it's all because of desperation and indenial. Like I said I knew the signs, but I didn't want to believe it. I know I have to remove him, but it still hurts to know that I thought I had a friend for once, and that I am going to have a social life, cause he has alot of friends. I just hate how everything is going, but I am severely depressed and just let down, I don't know, I guess I just have to let time pass, and let this heal. Thanks again for answering! Take care!

[Toddbt12y1]

Glad we could help. Yup, in time things will improve. You may even find a true friend; with similar interests, one who isn't crazy.

 

Don't be a stranger; come back or hang around if you like!