How to regain a friend after I disappeared on the friendship?

[Col1]

In high school, my friend and I were each other’s best friends. After high school, he got everything he wanted (through hard work), including a great job, serious relationship and a family. I supported him along the way, but I was secretly resentful because I had little. Being a selfish 20 year-old, I didn’t realize how much effort he had to put into his marriage, raising two kids, and supporting a family. I started disappearing from our friendship.

 

Months would go by with limited contact. We we did get together, he'd talk still only about his family and not ask about me. Then more months would go by, and the pattern would repeat. Finally, I moved to another town without telling him. This was in the days before MySpace and Facebook, so there was no way for him to contact me directly. He gave his new phone number on my mom’s answering machine, saying that his family moved to a different city. I didn’t ever return the call. That was a dozen years ago.

 

It’s been years of zero contact. I realize how selfish I was. However, I have grown as a person and developed my own life. I understand now that a family requires a lot of time investment. I found his current e-mail address on his social media page.

 

Is it too late for a friendship after my mistakes? How can I (attempt to) regain a friend after I disappeared on the friendship?

Edited August 11, 2013 by Col1

[penelopefitz]

Honestly, I think the only way to save this friendship is if you explained exactly what you explained to us. It'll be a long email, but if you do intend to be friends again, it's worth it.

Start off with a simple 'hi' and ask how his life has been. Then, apologize for never returning the call. You were going through a rough patch, you had a bit of jealousy towards him. However, you grew over the years and realized you made a mistake when you didn't call back. You would like to start communicating again, and you hope he replies soon.

 

Something like that. After you send it, the ball's in his court. He might have been really hurt, but with a simple message as such, and if he, too, has grown up, he will reply.

 

I hope everything works out for you!