Think I lost my best friend..

[tme0]

My best friend and I have been friends for 5 years. We would facebook chat a lot and hang out. Tell each other pretty much everything, be there for each other, etc.

A couple weeks ago, I don't really know what happened, but she acted really weird and distant, and we didn't talk for about a week. But then she came back as though nothing had happened. We went back to talking like usual and hanging out. The day after we hung out (we had a lot of fun) She sends me a message on facebook saying she hates me, that we're not friends anymore and especially not best friends.

I have no idea where any of that came from. I know I've not done anything, and if I ask her what's wrong or why she's acting like that, she will just say nothing's wrong and she's not acting different.

I ask her sister and she says that's just how she is and nothing's wrong.

Over the years, I've grown close to her sister. I hang out with her a lot, but this past week she's barely spoken to me either, and when we do speak, she is very short with me and acts like if she is upset. Her sister kind of follows whatever my friend does though, whatever

opinions my friend has, her sister has, etc.

 

My friend and I haven't spoken in about 2 weeks..

What's happened..? And should I send her a message? If so, saying what? Should I just wait til she comes to me?

 

It just really hurts, because we were really close and promised we would stay like that forever..and we were pretty much each others only friends. (We have other friends, but we don't speak or hang out with them all that often) However she seems to be getting along and talking to them more now according to facebook..

 

[amaysngrace]

If it bothers you enough to ask strangers about it then why don't you just ask her directly?

 

Instead of being hurt I would be pissed and be like WTF is your problem??

[tme0]

If it bothers you enough to ask strangers about it then why don't you just ask her directly?

 

Instead of being hurt I would be pissed and be like WTF is your problem??

 

I have asked her... and her sister.. They both say nothing is wrong and get mad that I even ask.

It's all so out of the blue.

[amaysngrace]

I have asked her... and her sister.. They both say nothing is wrong and get mad that I even ask.

It's all so out of the blue.

 

Obviously something is wrong or she wouldn't just say she hates you.

 

I'd ignore her personally. I don't let people treat me that way. You shouldn't either.

[Fugu]

Obviously something is wrong or she wouldn't just say she hates you.

 

I'd ignore her personally. I don't let people treat me that way. You shouldn't either.

 

A person has to have their own standards for what is and isn't acceptable behavior, and they have to have an idea in their own mind about what they will and will not tolerate from others. At the very least, if someone's a true friend, they'd give you an explanation to let you know what the problem is, and how it can be resolved. That it's so out of the blue and that they won't explain what it is tells me that your friend and her sister don't value your friendship. It's sad when we find out where we stand, but it's also liberating. I wouldn't waste a second more on them.

 

FYI, I'm in a somewhat similar situation. Had a good friend who just all of a sudden got weird on me (and here I was thinking that this only happened to women, lol). Stood me up for a hang-out. Didn't call. I frankly didn't even bother to call and ask why. I don't give a sh*t what his explanation is. I'm sure as f*ck not interested in toying around with someone who's supposed to be an adult but in reality is too childish to just open up and communicate whatever's on his mind. Haven't called him or texted him since, and honestly, he's been out of sight, out of mind. My door's always open, but it's up to him to walk through it, and it's up to him to act like a f*cking man (instead of a b*tch boy) and communicate with me like one.

 

I suggest you take a similar approach. The OP, that is. LOL

Edited August 2, 2013 by Fugu

[whichwayisup]

I have asked her... and her sister.. They both say nothing is wrong and get mad that I even ask.

It's all so out of the blue.

 

may I ask how old you all are?

 

Could be she has her own issues..Or she's into playing games and being mean because she's not a nice person.

 

Don't text or message her, as much as it hurts, try to focus on your other friends and let this go for a while.

 

True and real friends do NOT do the above and don't treat their friends like crap.

[tme0]

may I ask how old you all are?

 

Could be she has her own issues..Or she's into playing games and being mean because she's not a nice person.

 

Don't text or message her, as much as it hurts, try to focus on your other friends and let this go for a while.

 

True and real friends do NOT do the above and don't treat their friends like crap.

 

I'm 21 she's 20.

[freestyle]

Sounds like you guys have different definitions of what constitutes friendship.

 

Sometimes you have to find someone who's definition is closer to your own.

 

In my definition , friendship is about mutual respect, regard for each other's feelings, common interests, and relative reciprocity.

 

Friendships will change as you get older, too--as people's lives become more complex, and their responsibilities increase--it gets harder & harder to stay in touch on a daily basis. That's not always an indication that someone doesn't care---sometimes it's about needing to change priorities. You're going to find that in your twenties , a lot of your friendships will need to adapt to that changing dynamic.

 

Please don't view this as me condoning your friend's behavior--it was really crappy for her to leave you twisting in the wind like that. I've been on the receiving end of that , too--I know it hurts. I guess, the point I'm making is to point out that you're at a transitional age, where it's normal for a lot of your friendships to shift, end, or adapt & evolve. So, it's nothing to beat yourself up over.