darlin_98 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Hi! (I'm really sorry that the title of my question sounded so blunt and distasteful, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase it otherwise? Also! This is my first thread, so..... Be gentle! ) Um, I've been friends with this girl for about a half a year now, and she's said that she's bi but has, so far, only been interested in guys (that she's told me of, anyway). She's always wanting to spend a lot of time with me (more so than I usually want, but I'm a little introverted), she asks me things like whether I've ever thought about being with a girl, what would draw me to being bi or lesbian (I always thought that maybe she was asking herself those questions at the same time, just trying to work through things?), or what I thought a relationship would be like between us. She has already told me she really wants to move into an apartment with me, as well... I know that relationships between girls are always funny like that, but then she likes feeding me and playing with my hair and constantly compliments me... I'd be flattered, if she was interested in me, but I'm straight and I really don't want to hurt her, or make it really awkward between us by completely misinterpreting everything... Help? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I think you're right that your friend has lesbian feelings for you and she's "testing the waters" to see if you might be interested in that kind of thing yourself. The solution here is pretty simple; in the question lies the answer. Just tell her that you like her, don't want to hurt her, but you're straight and therefore only have sexual and romantic feelings for men but feel flattered by her attraction anyway. Wish you two the best! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darlin_98 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 Thank you for the wishes!! I hope it all works out Link to post Share on other sites
genuinelyloverly7 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I am so glad that you are being as understanding as you are with your friend. That's awesome. I second Danny- just tell her how much you value what you do have with her, and how much you want to stay in her life in that way. Definitely have the conversation with her. Allow her to be hurt and retreat for a while if she wants/needs to, but please don't let her drift away if that happens. You sound like a great friend. Don't get too sensitive about things that happen when your hanging out together; this will make you both very self-conscious and awkward around one another. From one bi woman who has great straight friends, Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author darlin_98 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Share Posted July 9, 2013 Thanks so much!! This is all really helping a ton Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 Hi! (I'm really sorry that the title of my question sounded so blunt and distasteful, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase it otherwise? Also! This is my first thread, so..... Be gentle! ) Um, I've been friends with this girl for about a half a year now, and she's said that she's bi but has, so far, only been interested in guys (that she's told me of, anyway). She's always wanting to spend a lot of time with me (more so than I usually want, but I'm a little introverted), she asks me things like whether I've ever thought about being with a girl, what would draw me to being bi or lesbian (I always thought that maybe she was asking herself those questions at the same time, just trying to work through things?), or what I thought a relationship would be like between us. She has already told me she really wants to move into an apartment with me, as well... I know that relationships between girls are always funny like that, but then she likes feeding me and playing with my hair and constantly compliments me... I'd be flattered, if she was interested in me, but I'm straight and I really don't want to hurt her, or make it really awkward between us by completely misinterpreting everything... Help? I think you should just tell her honestly that you adore her as a friend but you are straight. Make it clear to her that you're not into her that way. It's better to be honest and up front about this, rather than be passive and allow her to think there's a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
thegirlwhowaited Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 All of these posters make great points. Just sit down with her and really have a discussion about it. If it's something you think you might be interested in, tell her. If not, let her down easy. She may be hurt and upset for a bit, but give her the space she needs to feel better if it comes to that. I'm sure the two of you are really good friends, so something like this (while it is big) can be dealt with relatively easily. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
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