I need some comments about my friendship that just ended

[queendrama]

I've known this person for almost 5 years. She always loved to borrow things from me, such as makeup, bikini, clothes, shoes.. She loved to borrow almost everything from me since she was saving her money and not buying...I was always "good friend" and I lent her things I could have refused; she exploited me all the way. When we went out for a coffee she always waited for me to pay the bill.

And there was a time we met another girl who entered our circle of friendship. I figured out she was mean and hostile when I saw reactions she had for other people - she lied, manipulated, etc. I didn't want to be friends with her because she spread a horrible lie about me and my boyfriend and I said this to my friend and begged her "please don't be friends with that person, she will harm you too". Just like she wouldn't care for my feelings, my friend continued friendship with her. And at the same time exploiting me for stuff, for my company when she needed, etc.

I never really let go the feeling of "betrayal" since she was hanging out and talking on the phone with that mean girl, but I never mentioned anything that she bothers me and so.

And now when our friendship with this friend of my ended, because she fooled me twice for our holidays together (we've been booked, I already paid my part and she none, then she said she wouldn't have enough money for it anyway so let us cancel it). I was very angry since it was already 3rd time she did this. I also had bunch of problems cancelling our holidays because they kept amount of money.. And I also refused to lend her stuff anymore, and she was behaving odd ever since.

 

Let me not forget to mention I gave her MY ENTIRE CLOSET of clothes, shoes, purses - because I've had it a lot and I didn't want to waste it...I really liked her and wanted to share everything nice in our friendship. I've never had anything material from her, though.

 

She also refused to send me my stuff back which I lended her and messaged me "I will no longer have costs because of you, come and get your stuff" and I replied "I don't go to your town, send it to me by mail" and she responded "I don't care where you go or where you don't go, come and pick it yourself".

Like I've been talking to a completely different person!

 

The biggest thing that bothers me now is, that I can read on her facebook page that the friendship between that mean person who almost wrecked my life and her is blooming, they go to dinners together and sending each other hearts...I'm so sad to see this because I believe my ex friend is doing this on purpose to hurt me. And I guess they were always friends and I suppose she also rumored about me in the meantime of our friendship.

 

I just feel so USED, so EXPLOITED, so WORN OUT. This really put me down a lot...Tell me what do you think, was this a real friend or was I just thinking I have great friendship?

[GG3]

I have had friends like this. Some people are just takers and they do it to a lot of people, not just you. She will just move on and do it to other people. That's what takers do.

 

Just my two cents, I would get my stuff back (although I have a feeling she will ruin some of your stuff to be mean) and then cut the friendship off. Even if you have to pick the s* up just the end the drama.

 

As for was it a great friendship? I'm sure she thinks she was a great friend. Takers usually don't see themselves for what they are.

[patrol]

Wow you have my sympathies. What a terrible, self-centered friend (if you can even call her a friend). I assure you most decent people aren't like this.

 

I think the lesson to learn here is to watch for these red flags.

 

1. She makes you pay for her food? Are you f***ing kidding me? Unless she's homeless and you're doing it as an act of charity it should NEVER happen. You should've called her out on this right away. I made this mistake with my ex-girlfriend. I was her wallet for like 6 months. When we do this kind of stuff, we're actually decreasing our own value in their eyes. Not ok..

 

2. You advised against a friendship and she completely ignored you. What? Did she even offer an explanation? My best friend has a lot of enemies and I stick by him. If one of those people turn out to actually be nice, I always ask my best friend if it was ok with him if we could be friends. I have respect for his opinion and he has respect for mine.