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Am I doing the right thing by cutting him off?


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I have been friends with this guy for over a year, but recently we have become very close. He is an amazing guy. He is smart, very good looking and very nice. My only problem with him is that he never calls me and he takes a while to reply my messages. I have talked to him about this in details, over and over again – I have even resulted to ignoring him for several days. Each time he would beg, apologize and promise to change. He knows exactly how I feel about this and how it affects me. What makes me really upset is the fact that he is currently not working, he is not taking summer classes, and he has only three friends and they barely spend time together, so it is not like he is so busy or occupied that he can’t afford to text me in a reasonable time or even call once in a while. In the past, I have never been the type who would tell a guy what I want over and over again (I would just cut them off), but for him I have made an exception and right now I am beginning to feel insulted.

I have thought about this and I have decided to cut him off. I really like him, and will definitely miss his friendship, but I don’t think I can tolerate that attitude anymore. I have already gradually started ignoring his messages, but I’m feeling guilty because I know how much he likes me and how helpful he has been to me. He has sacrificed a lot of his time for me in school and whenever we hang out. He is always telling me I am all he has, but his attitude in texting and calling says otherwise. Please tell me, am I doing the right thing by cutting him off or should I just stick it out. It is killing me.

Please pardon the length. Thank you.

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lostinlove101

this is and I have been in your shoes (both recently and previously). It's unclear if this guy is just a friend or FWB or someone you're seriously dating- or want to date. One thing I've learned in friendships is people have different expectations about responding to messages. He may not be "busy" but if he's depressed he maynotnhave the energy to respond or may not be in the right head space. People are not perfect and they are who they are and we must accept them as such, or not...... I'd say examine why you're so upset that he doesn't get back to you when you thinks he should... When you approach him about this and he tells you WHY it takes so long sometimes what do you think about his explanation. Is it plausible- that is is it acceptable to you and/ or can you put yourself in his shoes and relate to his reasoning?

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Random Acts

Take it from me friendships like this don't always come along, and in my opinion this isn't a huge deal breaker I for one am a disaster with my phone..doesn't mean I don't care though X

 

I always liked the quote ''friends means understanding not agreement

it means forgiveness not forgetting

it means the memories last

Even if the contact is lost''

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@lostinlove,

You couldn't be anymore right. Most times I am confused on what kind of friendship we actually have. He has told me he liked me over and over again, but he wouldn't explain what he actually means by "like". When I ask, he would say "I know you know what I'm talking about. I don't even need to say it." At this point, I don't know how to react to his attitude, but I feel disrespected when he takes forever to reply a message. I think the reason I am upset is because he keeps saying all these sweet things and acting all nice and affectionate, yet he would not compromise on the one thing I ask of him. I am not big on texting, I'm more of a caller, but for him I wouldn't mind texting all day. Right now,it feels really awkward that I have known him for over a year and he has NEVER called me on the phone.As for his excuses, I don't remember what they are because they are just minor things like helping someone out with something, taking a nap ... I don't fixate on what he does, but they are not always plausible.

 

 

 

@Random Acts,

I know friendships like this don't come easy, but don't you think it is unhealthy to be in a relationship that gets one upset for the most part? I am getting frustrated because he is very much aware of how this affects me. If he was unaware, then it would be a different issue, but right now I feel like he enjoys getting me upset and then he'll apologize. It is beginning to feel like a game, and I don't think friendship should be this difficult. I have other friends who don't get on my nerves half as often as he does.

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