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This seems to be the year of relationships ending for me.

 

-uni friend (she was upset at something i did)

-next door neighbour who I grew up with (i ended this-she was taking too much advantage of me, always taking and never giving)

 

I've never had this happen before, and it really really upsets me when I run into them, we used to be soo close, and now it's like we're deliberate strangers..

 

There seem to be some people who have no enemies, and maintain good relationships with everyone, what's their secret???

 

I just currently feel that I'm really bad at relationships (friends, family, boyfriend)

 

Have any of you had one of those years? Full of tough stuff.

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Originally posted by amelie

we used to be soo close, and now it's like we're deliberate strangers..

 

Sigh! It's all part and parcel of life... don't be so hard on yourself....

 

People come, people go..... true friends are there no matter what.

 

Yeah i can identify with you in this.... when i left high school many years ago, i felt like i lost everyone and was suddenly alone.... just the feeling.

 

Then, new friends/contacts came and new friendships and bonds are made....

 

as for the ones who take you forgranted now, ah..... leave them be.... make new friends.

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Pyrannaste

-uni friend (she was upset at something i did)

 

If you think she had some point getting upset, perhaps it is not too late to have a talk with her.

What did you do? Did you discuss what happened with her?

Did you tell her you were sorry you upset her?

Did she find what you did totally unforgivable and she refused your excuses?

Or she had no right getting upset?

 

Is there no chance of making up?

 

-next door neighbour who I grew up with (i ended this-she was taking too much advantage of me, always taking and never giving)

 

Then she was not really a friend....no big loss.

 

There seem to be some people who have no enemies, and maintain good relationships with everyone, what's their secret???

 

I think that in most cases *seem* is the key word. Very few people have good relationships with everyone, but quite a lot of people will suffer the company of people they don't care about and be friendly even to people they not like a lot for quietness's sake.

 

One of the facts of life is that there will be someone who does not like you. Always. Even if you are smart, intelligent, funny, easygoing, caring, whatever. :)

 

Have any of you had one of those years? Full of tough stuff.

I did. I broke up with some supposed friends who were manipulating me, and also with a good friend (this time it was my entire fault :( ...spilled out a secret. I was being absent--minded, it was not for gossip purposes, but it was still unforgivable).

You'll make new(and perhaps better) friends. It is always awful to break up with friends, but sometimes friendships can be mended and new ones can be made.

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confused&inneed

To me it sounds like you still want to be friends with these people... so maybe you should call each of them up individually and talk to them. Tell them how you feel listen to what they have to say.... maybe there was a misunderstanding between the two of you. Maybe everything has past and they just want to be friends again, just like how you sound..

 

If you want them to listen to how you feel then you must also listen to how they feel... be the bigger person, talk to them first...

 

This has happened to me also... and i become friends again with those that i fought with...

 

You will indeed if not with them, but have more friendship that will last...

The best part of a friendship is that you can make it through hard times and still have each other, nobody agrees a 100% of the time...

 

Just talk to them

 

:bunny:

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Originally posted by confused&inneed

To me it sounds like you still want to be friends with these people... so maybe you should call each of them up individually and talk to them. Tell them how you feel listen to what they have to say.... maybe there was a misunderstanding between the two of you. Maybe everything has past and they just want to be friends again, just like how you sound..

 

If you want them to listen to how you feel then you must also listen to how they feel... be the bigger person, talk to them first...

 

This has happened to me also... and i become friends again with those that i fought with...

 

You will indeed if not with them, but have more friendship that will last...

The best part of a friendship is that you can make it through hard times and still have each other, nobody agrees a 100% of the time...

 

Just talk to them

 

:bunny:

 

Thanks for the good advice, unfortunately, it's not mendable with the uni friend, I've tried contacting her to talk things over, but she doesn't want to, and I respect that, perhaps in time...

 

With other friends, and conflict, given enough time, we've started talking again, but this has happened only in a few cases-depends on context, and personality i guess.

 

As for the user friend, I really like her family, and she said she wanted to talk things over, so I think i'll do that, but at the same time knowing how she is, i'll keep the friendship really casual, with minimal contact, and i won't be going out of my way to help her at all.

 

I'm learning that relationships take work, but i do wish that people were better at handling conflict, i know too many people that just shut down, or cut off friendships without trying to work things out.

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confused&inneed

It sounds like you already know what you need to do

 

Stay in contact with the user friend is a good plan... keeping it casual and more of an brief type or friendship sounds good...

 

Sorry that i was not more help

 

Maybe things will change later on with you and uni friend... who knows

 

:bunny:

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