Female Friend cut off all contact - Not due to new relationship

[Charmingman93]

This was over 2 years ago, but its something I never really got a good answer from anyone or her. Basically, we met in the strangest of circumstances (let alone cutting off) at a protest and got along really well. Few months and we got close, but there was never any sexual tension in reality. Though due to my naivete, I mistook it for a fancy/crush but I got over myself because I had other girls I wanted more or liked more anyway, plus I was 17 she was 14 when we first met, and well due to a past girlfriend I wasn't keen on it .

 

So she had a boyfriend anyway but we were friendly with each other, and I never saw him as competition or anything, he was always welcome when we hung out. She was one of the only people I used to hang out on my own with, I've become more of a group person. Then well they started having problems, plus she had the burden of stuff in her own family life. I was there for help - for both of them. They split anyway, and I was sorry for them, but I never discussed it with them or anything, it was their problem.

 

Then one day after I hung out with her, she just disappeared. I texted her a few times, the usual once a week - about 4 times and I got worried. So I asked a mutual friend if she could get her to tell me it was okay. She came back (the friend) and said the friend was fine but I had to "back off", give her "space", now if memory serves me correct, I had had my own break up that year and my ex said the same things, so it was strange to me that she said that, even though I hadn't communicated THAT much.

 

Then that was it, I was later deleted off facebook, never heard from her, though I would see her around intermittently of the next few years, never talked, I acted as if I never knew her. Though it was because I took it pretty hard, I used to drink to get over it (I'm not an alcoholic!) or when I stopped doing that after two weeks, whenever I got drunk I ended up pining over her. I don't anymore, but I have never had the oppurtunity to discuss it sober, without feeling embarrassed. Because frankly, I still don't ANSWERS.

 

I've thought about it, could it have been me? Did I unwittingly break the relationship up? Was I actually getting too close, or is she just a bitch. None of my other friends were deleted. So it is only me she had/has a problem with.

 

Do any of you have anything to say about it? Sorry for this long post.

[drr6]

Whatever the reasons, it is pretty clear that your advances are now not welcomed. Why you ask? Some guesses below.

You can try asking mutual friends for more info. But more to the point, why are you so stuck on her now? You weren't madly into her before, you never had a thing together, and there is somewhat of an age difference. And now, two years later, at 19, you are drinking over her?

If I had to guess, she probably finds your new infatuation with her "creepy." The more you pursue now, the farther she will run away. If I had to guess some more, even if you feel you didn't go overboard with your direct communication to her, one of your teenage friends probably blabbed to her about how crazy you are about her for some cheap entertainment.

[ja123]

It's tough not having closure. It could be for so many reasons. She's a growing teenager after all.

 

Hang in there. Someone new will eventually come along and you won't think of her anymore.