karen4221 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I live pretty far away from most of my friends. Around 500 miles. I got engaged in December and as we can´t afford to get married anytime in the next few years, we decided to have a big engagement party at our house and invite all our best friends up for the weekend. We sent out beautiful invitations and have put a lot of work into planning a really beautiful event. Guests were given 6 months notice and all RSVPs “yes”. Over the past week, I´ve found out that out of my six closest friends (who I´ve already asked to be bridesmaids) only one is actually coming to my engagement party. And she is coming 6 hours after it starts! I´m not a needy person, and these girls have been my friends for 20 years and have been there for me through thick and thin, but I can´t help feeling really low about it. The entire point of the party for me was to be with them, and for them to spend time with my fiancée (half of them haven´t even met him yet). None of their reasons seem particularly good. Three are working, one says she can´t afford it, one has to look after her ill cat and the last has a sick aunt. Is it me, or is this just completely hurtful? I feel really ashamed to be honest that no one be bothered to be there for me on such an important day. My fiancees friends and family are all coming. We have 30 guests and only three of them will actually be my friends and family. I feel awful! Link to post Share on other sites
drr6 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 **** happens. Whether or not they are good friends depends on the totality of your interactions. But at this point, just try to enjoy the party. Isn't it more important that they be able to come to your wedding anyhow? Link to post Share on other sites
Vervain Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 A party is a lot to travel 500 miles and stretch your finances, leave a sick family member in your care behind, or try to wrestle a weekend off from a tough workplace for. Those sound like valid reasons to me, though I understand the embarrassment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I feel really ashamed to be honest that no one be bothered to be there for me on such an important day. I hate to tell you this but for 500 miles, a party is not "that important" to most people. A wedding? Yes. A party? Nope... It is important to you - I understand that. But in most people's mind, it is just a party, not the actual wedding. And, besides, do you know the statistics on engagements that never get to the wedding day? I don't, but reading the posts on this site for the past several years, I can attest that it is more than you might realize. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Is it me, or is this just completely hurtful? I feel really ashamed to be honest that no one be bothered to be there for me on such an important day. My fiancees friends and family are all coming. We have 30 guests and only three of them will actually be my friends and family. You can feel hurt and disappointed but don't take it as they can't be bothered to be there for you. An engagement party is important but it isn't the end of the world they aren't coming. Things happen, and unfortunately even if you don't think their reasons are good enough, to them, it is. Take a weekend to go see them and plan a night out with them with your fiance. If you make this into a big deal it'll become a big deal and possibly dramatic if you talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
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