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Friends are friends with my ex


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My fiance (now ex) and I moved a few years back and I made a friend in the new job I was in. He was married and the 4 of us became friends. Well as things would turn out my fiance and I broke up. However, come to find out that my fiance (who moved away after our breakup) is still friends with my two friends I made up here. Mind you, I work with the fella every day, and I feel its a little underhanded that him and his wife are friends with my ex-gf/fiance. In fact, his wife has been very abrasive towards me and snubbed every invite to any gathering that included myself and my new girlfriend.

 

What's going on here? Are they really my friends?

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No, they are not your friends (especially the wife). Not proper friends anyway. In my opinion (and experience) these are people that you socialise with from time to time, but keep them at arms length because there's no real loyalty there.

 

I have been in a similar situation and ended up deliberately distancing myself from 'friends' like these; not that I don't talk to them or would be nasty about them, I can just do without that kind of person in my life. I do not need the drama of '[ex] said this' 'oh I'd invite you but [ex] is coming.' No thanks.

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OP, you can't decide who other people can be friends with or not. I guess your friend's wife is more close to your ex & believes her part of the story. Anyways, she should be mature enough to let it go & happy with your current situation if she is good friend.

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Thank you for the responses. Here are my thoughts.

 

My ex moved away. The friends in question are still local to me (one of them works with me). I would never tell anybody who they can't be friends with.

 

I just found it odd that they would choose sides like that, considering I am still around and they still talk to me. My friend at work is probably one of the best friends I made up here.

 

I just don't know if i can trust them anymore. Especially since my ex cheated on me.... And they refuse to accept that or even care.

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