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Backstabbed by my bestfriend (hes also an ex)


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CrazyL0ve

Me and him used to go out, it didnt work out for many reasons. Either way ive always trusted him no matter what, we've known for 3 yrs, and we had this unbreakable trust between us, he told me everything i told him everything, even if i had problems with my current boyfriend.

 

Either way now, my boyfriend brought his sister over and my bestfriend (ex) clings onto her after a week. They go back to their country (so yes im in LDR),

and start chatting daily, now they've known a month, and it has come to my attention my bestfriend shares everything about me to her, eventho' we have had the trust for 3 yrs, and he bull****s about me, i've got proof of it all, kinda regret i ever found out..

 

I told him not to tell things forward about me few days before aswell before i found out, he promised me he'd never betray me the way or hurt me that way, and i find out him telling her the next day about me and my boyfriend, our arguements when i had nobody else and opened up to him, everything ive shared to him goes forward to a girl he barely knows, over our friendship.. Before i found out he has been taking distance and barely wants to spend time with me.

 

I Feel like all the trust is gone after 3 years, no matter how well i knew the guy i just found out something i never knew would exist in him. And the most horrible thing that he would bull**** about me and stab me in the back the way hes done... The girl is even insulting me in their conversations and he goes along with it..

 

 

Thinking i need time anyway, quite alot of it. Or do you think he deserves a second chance?..

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Toddbt12y1

You do not need to be with or friendly towards him. He has disrespected your wishes to no longer talk about you to this girl he barely knows. He still does.

 

He talks about you. You warned him. He doesn't deserve another chance to talk about you like that.

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Anthony2005

I would have to disagree with Todd on this one.

Crazylove Im going to be honest with you, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment if you share a secret with someone and then tell them please don't tell anyone.

It seems that he's creating a close friendship with her and similiar to your's they will share "everything" with each other. Also if this friendship turns into a relationship, your relationship will take a back seat. She will feel insecure if it doesn't, especially with you being an ex gf.

Consider he may bull***** about you to her so she feels he isnt still in love with you.

Or maybe thats some of things he really feels about you but as a friend he doesn't have the heart to tell you. Rarely is it beneficial to a friendship to be painfully honest.

As to second chance... He's your best friend and now you've learned an ugly truth about him? Will you accept him with his faults as well... it seems you're hurting because he's closer to you than most and it feels as though your loosing your best friend. Express how you feel to him, and show him that he can be painfully honest with you about anything.

Relationships will come and go, but in most cases Best Friendships will be there after with a shoulder for you to cry on.

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8bitworld

First, you are not in control of his or her actions. Your are in control of yours.

You need to worry about what you want others to know about you and sorry but lose lips sink ships. As our natural reaction to gather clarity is to sort out issues by discussion. Look at this post for instance. He could easily be upset that you would rather talk to the world then talk to him. However what you think of him or her is none of their business. The same applies to you, what others think of you is not your business. Personally I could careless what people think over what they see me project when I am around them. Most peoples opinions are just that. People also have two sides to them, a side that is open and clear and a side that is private and clouded. You need to focus on distinguishing yourself in your own eyes first it sounds like from your post. Now keep in mind a lot is lost in conversing over the web, as you do not get tone of voice or body gesture. However you are projecting an insecurity in others feeling about you. Which is perfectly normal behavior for most.

Last to solve this issue I would start by recommending you try to start looking outward for your feelings on yourself. Quit thinking about you and start associating your point of view with yourself with a feeling. See if you like who you feel you are. Do you make yourself happy? Do your feel yourself happy? Do you THINK your happy? these are all very different questions. Most times people think to much of themselves and are put down when others do not think the same way because they are secretly telling themselves there better than they are in their own mind.

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