Why is my friends cousin ignoring me on facebook

[musiclover257]

I am in my early 30's, and my best friends cousin (who is also a girl) in her early twenties. We met at the social event, and we connected as friends. Few days later she sent me a friend request on facebook. We had few meeting afterwards, and I noticed she would glance my way and would be near me most of the time. One night, we all went out, and when I was talking to a friend, she would come over and ask me " what are you guys talking about?" and I said just life in general. The same night she would slap me in my butt, and smiled, and I thought that was cute. But when I talked to other people that night, I noticed she was looking my way. There were moments her eyes would lock with mine, and she wouldn't turn away and kept starring at me, so I smiled and turned away instead so it doesn't look awkward. On other events, when we all were walking in the city, she wasn't walking close to me, but distant and away from me. When my friends joked me one night about me being married (which was a joke), she looked me in the eye and said "you are married?" and she would repeat it twice. I said it's a joke, and we all laughed afterwards. I noticed there were times she would look at me in the sad way, not sure what the meaning of that was, which I am still trying to figure out. So i posted some our event pics on facebook, and that one pic of me and her that looked like we were too close, I deleted it to prevent from my friends commenting and thinking she was my gf. I sent her an email and I explained to her not to take it personally, that my friends know about me, and that I was looking after her, since I am friends with her family on facebook. She said " it's ok". Since I live in another State, I tried to stay in touch with her thru email and asked her how she was doing, but her response would be very short. I tried few times trying to have a conversation, but then again her response would be very short. So I stopped sending her emails afterwards. I noticed, she would like post and pic's from other people, but never mine. Occasionally, she would like my post, but never liked any of my pics, even though I liked hers. I must admit, I do have crush on her, but I would never dare to tell her or her cousin that I am best friend with my feelings for her due to age difference, and knowing her family. I would like to get to know her as a friend, and stay in touch, but I feel like there is a strain in our friendship. I am just trying to figure out. Is she shy, does she like me, dislike me, jealous or whatever her deal is ? I thought about sending her email to ask what's really going on, but then I feel like she probably wouldn't open up to me. What do you guys think ?

[The Outlaw]

Of that, this much can be said: she likes you. But she's also a little younger, and not to take away anything from anyone of that age, but she probably doesn't know what she wants yet. But given the fact she's ignoring you or has little to do with you at that, you may have unintentionally hurt her. Perhaps because you deleted the pic of you two on FB to prevent your friends from commenting on it may have impacted her and that's why she's acting like she is. Just give her a little time and see where it goes from there.

[musiclover257]

I am aware I might have unintentionally hurt her feelings, but on the good side I put that pic back on fb when I was organizing my photos - Do you also think now that she knows about me, that could be the reason her being distant and not interacting with me on fb ? Maybe she doesn't want me to think that she likes me ? I told her my brother who is around her age likes her. She took it funny, and said "yeah I will keep that in mind." I might have pushed her away unintentionally, and with time, I might find out the reason why ? Yes she is young and she has a lot of exploring to do in her life to get to know herself better. She's an amazing gal, beautiful, and I wish if times were different, I'd definitely pursue her. If I only wasn't good friends with her cousin, I probably would tell her how I feel, but I can't risk my friendship with her cousin, since I worship that friendship a lot. It's been few months now and sadly, we don't talk. When her cousin posts pic's me being in it, she doesn't respond, but pic's from her other friends, she responds, which is strange. I am trying to understand her intentions, which I am getting nowhere. Maybe it's nothing personal, and she doesn't look at me as someone to be friends with ? But still, why add me on fb ? Funny how that one night when we all were watching a movie, we were first sitting on the opposite sides. She got up and sat in the chair right beside me, and placed her legs on the couch where I was sitting. Her cousin asked her why she moved, and her excuse was " my neck is hurting." There were few other incidents where she would touch my lower back. When I do send her a message, she does responds, but she would never approach first and ask me how I am doing ? Maybe it's just that stage of age, where she doesn't look at our friendship the way I would like to. Who knows ...

Edited March 3, 2013 by musiclover257

[The Outlaw]

You may have made her feel as if you didn't care for her when you mentioned to her that your brother likes her based on her response. If it were me, I'd give it a little time before I do anything. Don't take this the wrong way, but if she really likes you, she'll be just as eager as you to preserve the friendship, but just try letting her contact you for a change. And I can understand the age difference, believe me. I had kept my distance from two girls at least in my past that I was anywhere from 4-10 years older than. The friendship failed with one, and the other it was for the best. Just keep the head up, hombre.

[musiclover257]

I appreciate very much for sharing your thoughts and opinion on this. I am aware I might have pushed her away, but you are absolutely right! If she's eager enough to stay in touch, she should do her part and contact me for a change. This is my first time I've been attracted to someone way much younger than me, and sometimes I wonder how did I let this happen ? One good thing, we live far away from each other, and most likely we won't cross each other path again. I genuinely care for her, and wanted to build up a good friendship with her with some future travel adventures, stories etc....but I am glad she opened my heart knowing that I can love regardless of age, sex, or differences.

 

I just wasn't sure why she was acting like this, and wondered if it was possible she might feel the same way which I could relate and understand her being distant. It's sad that sometimes we can't express our feelings to someone we like due to circumstances, fear of rejection etc...but hey, that's life

Edited March 4, 2013 by musiclover257

[whichwayisup]

I think you deleting the picture and telling her why did hurt her feelings. Why does it matter to you what others think? You're in your 30's, you're not a young teen. Live your life for you, not what others might think or say on facebook.

 

Do you like this girl?

[musiclover257]

How would you approach to her if you were in this situation? I was thinking sending her an email to see if there was anything wrong and that I feel some kind of strain in our friendship, but then maybe it's nothing. Maybe she doesn't care about whether she talks to me or likes any of my adventures I post on fb. I honestly wasn't concerned about people commenting on that pic of us, but I have her family on there and I didn't want her family to see in case my friends do make a comment on it. One of my friends did make a comment in one pic with me and her cousin that I am best friends with how happy she was for me to have found true love lol So of course her husband saw it, and then texted me that morning and asked me to delete that comment so other people wouldn't think his wife swings that way. After that comment, I decided to delete a pic of me and her cousin that I like and I told her what happened. You would think she would understand, but I don't know if that's really the case why she doesn't stay in touch with me. She's young, although I don't know her well enough to know if she's open to that possibility to like girls, I just don't know. I do like her a lot, and I think of her day and night. But eventually when I am ready, I am going to move on and don't let this bother me. Funny though, she doesn't like any of my posts or pics but likes from other people ? I guess it's a mystery ....

Edited March 5, 2013 by musiclover257