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Flaking among friends - common? How do you deal with it?


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I don't know if it's just me, but everywhere I go, there are at least a handful of friends who are exceedingly... flaky. They'll ask me to hang out, I'll agree, and at the last minute they'll say they can't make it for one reason or the other. It doesn't happen all the time, obviously, but it certainly happens, and their reasons aren't exactly emergencies.

 

This has happened with several friends across several different cultures and social groups, so I don't think it's just 'the people I choose to hang out with'. The only common denominator that I see is their age - I'm in my 20s so the people I mix with are primarily in their 20s as well. I'm wondering if I'm more uptight about flaking than the average 20-plus year old is; I don't commit to a plan unless I'm certain that I can make it, so the only reasons I wouldn't make it is if an emergency cropped up or I fell sick. On the other hand, some people seem to treat flaking as par by course - agree to a hangout, don't feel like going out when the time comes, cancel. Those people seem to have plenty of friends, too, so maybe it's more socially acceptable than I think it is?

 

What's the deal here? Should I just do as the Romans do when in Rome, or should I be pissed at them and not agree to meet up with them any more?

Edited by Elswyth
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Flakiness has no age limit unfortunately.

 

The more that they flake the less you should hang out with them. You can do that or don't rely on their plans. Have a plan B if you can, or you can make the flakes your plan B.

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It happens all the time. They asked to hang out and yet they are the one who cancelled. I usually don't really mind because I always have another plan :)

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TouchedByViolet

I personally don't deal with flaking much. Maybe because I have a small social circle and all my friends are reliable when it comes to plans. I do have one friend who tends to show up a little late to events sometimes but totally flake, no.

 

If a friend flaked on me I would move them into the acquaintance category.

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