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Friends or lack thereof


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My group of friends diminished in like, 2008. Which was fine then, because I met my bf (now ex) and moved to another city with him and hung out with all of his friends. But now, im back in my world, my city, and I have like zero friends. My best friend is married, barely leaves the house. My other best friend is in the navy in San Diego. I do have a weekend next month where Im going to NYC with both of those friends, which is great, but I'm still not branching out. I have no clue on how to make friends...I'm so shy and so awkward (although, no one has ever told me im shy OR awkward), I think I more have anxiety about ppl not liking me.

 

How can I make friends? When people ask me what I do for fun I never know what to say. Or if they ask what I do with friends, I cant say "uhhh I dont have any friends." Ya know?

 

It's actually starting to depress me, because usually I don't mind spending time alone, but now Im ALWAYS alone.

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Best way is through work, school, or through hobbies/interests.

 

Otherwise, do you hang out anywhere like a local coffee shop or bar? Any stores or markets you frequent? Branch out to the people that work there, be social, talk to people, etc.

 

 

I think I more have anxiety about ppl not liking me.
This is your main problem. You can't care too much what others think.

 

So be honest when someone asks you what you do for fun! Even if you do nothing more then watch TV all day or hell, maybe you collect unicorns or something. And of course you can say you just moved back into town and don't have many friends right now.

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Best way is through work, school, or through hobbies/interests.

 

Otherwise, do you hang out anywhere like a local coffee shop or bar? Any stores or markets you frequent? Branch out to the people that work there, be social, talk to people, etc.

 

 

This is your main problem. You can't care too much what others think.

 

So be honest when someone asks you what you do for fun! Even if you do nothing more then watch TV all day or hell, maybe you collect unicorns or something. And of course you can say you just moved back into town and don't have many friends right now.

 

 

I don't go out to many places cause I don't have anyone to go with lol. I just don't know how to say "we should hang out".... I come across as stand off-ish.

 

Are there any online communities or forums for making friends in

your city?

Edited by jen_r
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Sorry for the late response.

 

I don't go out to many places cause I don't have anyone to go with lol. I just don't know how to say "we should hang out".... I come across as stand off-ish.
Yea, I meant just the places you go to on a daily or weekly basis like local stores and such. But sounds like you're trying to go out more and there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone if they want to hang out. And if you come across as standoffish then so be it. Doesn't mean you can't meet new friends.

 

And if you really struggle finding things to do for fun then asking someone to go shopping with you or run some errands isn't the end of the world. Other people have to do that as well. ;)

 

Are there any online communities or forums for making friends in

your city?

I'm sure there are but I wouldn't know personally. And if you go that route that's absolutely fine too but I would try a more specific approach. A community you're interested in, like an athletic one, or a specific hobby or interest.
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