Jump to content

Loosing a friend who I am trying to ..


Rosearm

Recommended Posts

Ok a couple of years back I got back in touch with a old school friend who I hadn't seen for five or six years. We starting hanging out again, doing all sorts of stuff. I even had Xmas dinner at his house.

 

He used to smoke weed (I don't agree, but didn't have an issue with it)

Last year he decided he'd had enough of smoking it so gave it up. It wasn't easy but he did it and has been clean of it for almost a year. The problem is since he stopped our friendship has been quite rocky.

 

I don't quite work out why, I think he's stressed and experiencing some drawback symptoms?

 

He's falling out with me countless times and his other friends too for no apart reason. He seems jealous of the fact I have another circle of mates who I meet up with because we have the same hobby. He gets funny with me about it. I've never pushed him away or let him down, he's a good friend and I've always made time for him.

 

He's rude, snappy & ignorant and always blames other people for everything.

I admit I sort of backed off a little bit towards the end of last year because I was fed up with him and my Dad had a stroke last summer and we've all been stressed at home.

 

A good example of his behaviour is, he'll call me, I don't answer because I am driving or in the shower, he rings five or six times, texts and leaves a rude message complaining I didn't answer.

 

He then deletes me from Facebook. When I question him for it, he says he didn't. He later then re-adds me?!

 

Last night we were talking about the situation on Facebook, he said I have a funny way of showing I am a good friend and he dropped out mid way through conversation. Today I discover he's deleted me! I called him, he cut me off and then switched his phone off!

 

He's deleted other friends of ours too for no apparent reason. They ask me why and I have no idea!

 

He's walked out of countless jobs as well over the last few years. He always tells me it was the managers fault or something happened that he didn't like. He's probably never been in one job for more than a month!

 

Maybe I should suggest he gets some help from his doctor because clearly something is wrong. I'd try and talk to him but I know what he reaction will be.

 

He's hurting himself more than anybody because if he carries on like this, nobody will want to know him!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it possible that this IS the REAL him - and the weed was just actually masking what a total jerk he actually is, when he's off the stuff?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Could be. But he's always been like this, but more so since he came off the stuff. Another thing I didn't mention was he had a troubled childhood. Maybe that is also having some effect on him?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ultimately, he's unfixable.

Bya anyone else other than him.

he will have to realise that:

 

he has a problem.

It's a really inhibitive problem.

Something needs to be done.

He has to be the one to do it.

He cannot lean on the past to justify his current behaviour.

 

How he's behaving now, is his manner, NOW.

It cannot be blamed on his past experiences, because he can make a choice about how he behaves.

Just as the child of an alcoholic can choose to not be like that - so can he look at his upbringing and decide he's not going to go that way any more.

 

but it all has to come from him.

Recognition, acknowledgement, remedy and result.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

He replied to my message on FB. He was throwing insults at me and has now blocked me (again!) He didn't even mention my concerns so maybe he knows I am right but he still won't admit it.

 

I am just going to leave him.

 

What else can I do?

Link to post
Share on other sites

out of the choices you have, I think that's definitely the wisest....

Read the No Contact Guide in my signature.

I know there is not romanticism or relationship here - but hopefully, it will help.....

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks for the advice Guys and Gals.

 

We had a really damn good heart to heart the other evening. Seems he was bottling things up about me and some **** that happened in the recent past when I was unwell.

 

We cleared the air and seems like we are ok now. We agreed to talk more.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...