texasisforlovers Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 So, my guy friend and I have become close for the past year. He lives about an hour away so we built our friendship through texts, emails, phone calls, etc. A few times, we have met up to hang out and it's been okay...but lately, it seems like he doesnt want to be friends, anymore. Our friendship, started out as a getting to know you, kind of interested situation, but ultimately he told me all he could offer was friendship. It sucked, because I liked him a lot and so I didn't speak to him for a while just to get over it. We ended up talking again and I accepted the friendship b/c I didn't want to lose a great person. Well in a few months, I kissed him while tipsy, but we never again spoke about it. Then, the doozy came when he invited me over for the holidays and I accepted. He even gave me a gift, and I gave one to him. But throughout the day, all he did was text and act uncomfortable. Why did he invite me, then, if he didn't want me there? Since then, I hardly hear from him and when I text him, he's short and uninterested. I just want my friend, back. He used to text me everyday to say hi and see what's going on in my life and now it's like I don't exist. I asked him if everything was okay with him and he said everything was fine. But, I've noticed a change. I just wish he'd tell me why. Do I just let this friendship go and move on with my life or try and find out again, why he is distancing himself. I understand he just wants to be friends. Soooo...whats the issue? I haven't told him about my feelings since the summertime, so I don't know why he's distant. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Why did he invite me, then, if he didn't want me there? He likes that you like him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author texasisforlovers Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 I've never really thought of it that way, but I suppose it makes some sense. I always thought he was a genuine friend. His behavior is saying otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Being an emotional tampon (in the past) teaches one certain aspects of interpersonal relationship potentials. I never considered people to be Hoovers until clearly seeing and understanding the machinations of purposefully seeking validation and ego gratification as being in the same realm as seeking assets or money in a confidence scheme. Therapy helped a lot with that. Ascribing the finest possible qualities as default has its downside. A balanced approach appears to be healthier. Now, here's the tough part. If this guy follows the usual male pattern, he'll pop up in your life again like nothing has happened. What to do then? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts