Had an eye-opening experience today

[Inflikted]

Remember that girl I was super into from work, asked out months ago, and got turned down by? So today, she approached me while I was on break, and wanted to talk to me about something. Apparently someone said something to her about me, and she said she felt like things had gotten weird between us, and that she didn't want that. I was dumbfounded, and I just kind of agreed with her, and that was that. I kinda collected my thoughts, though, and told her that I wanted to talk to her, and clear the air a bit. Of course, though, we didn't really get a chance to have that conversation, so we agreed to talk on Saturday when we see each other again.

 

I can't say I'm mad or upset at anyone else, I know it falls on me for having opened my mouth to anyone in the first place. Actually, I'm kind of grateful, because this gives me an opportunity to finally talk to her about all this again, and truly clear the air once and for all. Her coming to me about this was really eye-opening for me.

 

At the moment, this is the basic "script" I've worked out in my head for when I talk to her:

 

"I agree that things have gotten weird, and I'll take full responsibility for that. I don't know who told you what, but I'll take responsibility for that, too. So, the first thing I want to say is, I'm really really sorry for all of that. I never wanted things to get weird, and I definitely never meant for anyone else to get involved in any capacity, so again, I'm sorry for that.

 

The other thing I wanted to say is, regardless of whatever anyone else said, nobody knows what's really going on in my head except me, and I think it might help if I explain to you where I'm at with all of this, because I don't want you to wonder what I'm thinking or 'feeling' when you're around me. I get that you're not interested in the whole dating thing, and I get that that's not going to change. And I'm okay with that. I'm not actively trying to 'get with you', and I'm not sitting here hoping you'll change your mind some day.

 

That said, you're one of the coolest people I've met in a very very long time, and it's been way too long since there's been someone I can talk to and play around with the way I can with you, and I feel like we've gotten away from that lately. For a little while, now, I've been kinda wishing that we could be better friends, even outside of work. Heck, there have been times where I kinda wanted to say 'Hey, wanna go get lunch?' or 'Wanna go get coffee?' or whatever, but I always stopped myself, because I didn't want you to think 'Oh, god, he's asking me out again...'. And now that you're done with school, I imagine you won't be working here much longer, and as you pointed out, you're not into the whole Facebook thing, so I can't exactly keep in touch with you that way. It'd just be nice to still be able to see you and talk to you, even after you leave, and I think given the opportunity, we could be really good friends. But, I completely understand if that doesn't interest you, either, I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to push you into something you don't want. Just throwing it out there."

 

I think I'm pretty happy with that, and that pretty much says everything I want to say. But, I still have a couple days to mull it over more. Like I said, very eye-opening, but hopefully this will provide an opportunity for she and I to begin developing a proper friendship.

Edited January 10, 2013 by Inflikted

[ghan]

That sounds a tad 'white knightish' and would do more to permanently friendzone you than it would to help your situation IMHO.