izzy4196 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 well, it was a LTR so when we BU we decided to stay good friends (we still know we love each other though) but i was still "attached" to him, so he started to talk to this girl who obviously likes him and he knows it and i started with an attitude so that he gets that i don't like that at all but when i did that he got mad n started to fight with me telling me that we had nothing and that i had no reason to be mad because we were just friends.. so i agreed and stop being my jealous self with him... So i don't have a lot of friends so i decided this was the time then the opportunity appeared but this guy likes me... so we stared talking and my ex found out... now he's mad... the only thing he said was "how come you can do that and i can't" but i reminded him the things he told me... But i wonder if still talking with this guy who i don't want nothing but a friendship with it's a bad thing for me to do... am i doing the right thing? Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 And this is an example of why being friends with an ex is not a good idea: 1) it's difficult to impossible to move on (You admit you're still attached.) 2) the boundarys are fuzzy to non-existent (You may be upset that he's talking to someone else, but you crossed the line in picking a fight about it.) 3) it creates a lot of unecessary drama (You started the fight, and now he's continuing it.) 4) what in the world do you tell these "new friends" and why would they want to stick around and be part of this unhealthy situation? If you're broken up, then at the very least, both of you need to butt out of each other's business when it comes to meeting new people, be they friends or dates. You're not together anymore, and neither one of you has any say in what the other person is doing. A better choice would be to go no contact with each other so you can both heal and move on; if after a year or two you you want to see if you can be friends again, then try it again.* *This is based on the fact that you have not mentioned any children with your ex. If kids are part of the equation, then things get a lot more complicated and really clear boundaries must be drawn. Link to post Share on other sites
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