Friendzoned...?

[amorearte]

I know this will be long, but I would so appreciate it if someone would please listen.

I have not put up a display picture, but if you want one I will send it to you.

I have been chased by guys for a long time. They're always telling me how pretty I am, flawless personality, all that nice things.

And I met a friend. He's 3 years older than me. And we've beaten around the bush a few times, I've slept over twice, almost had sex. Kisses me every now and again.

He told me yesterday that he doesn't want to loose me, and that we should be best friends (sometimes with benefits) and that he wants to go to concerts, bon fires, and everything else with me. But as friends. He told me that no other woman would get in the way of what we have.

And then I feel like nothing is going to happen between us. i feel like this will fade away like all my other ones. I mean my god I rarely like a guy but I REALLY like him, and now I am the friendzoned one when I am usually the one dishing out the friend zones.

 

I mean we text everyday, hang out, chill, eat together, make awkward sexual jokes to eachother. He talks about his exes and dates he's been on (and he's been on A LOT)

 

But it bugs me that I am friendzoned. I honestly just don't want this to be another friendship that is lost to an ex he still wants back. I don't want him to completely shut me out of his life. I still want the sleepovers and the kissing and the laughs and hugs and everything.

 

I guess, it just bothers me that I am friendzoned. I never have been. And this time I really do want him, and I can show him what a good girlfriend is like unlike all these girls he just hits and runs, or that he 'loves'. Or whatever.

 

And then I think about it, and it's like I mean he does get a lot of girls, is it okay that I am the one he is texting first everyday, asking to hang out and come over, telling me that he is having an amazing time with him, and cuddling with him during the night.

 

I don't know, I am not used to this. I don't want to get attached and loose him to someone else. I don't want that to happen ever again.

[Onelife66]

This is classic . We always want what is unavailable. Even if it may not always be the healthiest option. It seems sucky, but ya, now ya know how it feels to be friend zoned. so have compassion for the friends ya friend zone....and if he will commit to you or not, maintain your self respect. And be willing to take him or leave him

[NoMagicBullet]

I know this will be long, but I would so appreciate it if someone would please listen.

I have not put up a display picture, but if you want one I will send it to you.

I have been chased by guys for a long time. They're always telling me how pretty I am, flawless personality, all that nice things.

And I met a friend. He's 3 years older than me. And we've beaten around the bush a few times, I've slept over twice, almost had sex. Kisses me every now and again.

He told me yesterday that he doesn't want to loose me, and that we should be best friends (sometimes with benefits) and that he wants to go to concerts, bon fires, and everything else with me. But as friends. He told me that no other woman would get in the way of what we have.

And then I feel like nothing is going to happen between us. i feel like this will fade away like all my other ones. I mean my god I rarely like a guy but I REALLY like him, and now I am the friendzoned one when I am usually the one dishing out the friend zones.

 

I mean we text everyday, hang out, chill, eat together, make awkward sexual jokes to eachother. He talks about his exes and dates he's been on (and he's been on A LOT)

 

But it bugs me that I am friendzoned. I honestly just don't want this to be another friendship that is lost to an ex he still wants back. I don't want him to completely shut me out of his life. I still want the sleepovers and the kissing and the laughs and hugs and everything.

 

I guess, it just bothers me that I am friendzoned. I never have been. And this time I really do want him, and I can show him what a good girlfriend is like unlike all these girls he just hits and runs, or that he 'loves'. Or whatever.

 

And then I think about it, and it's like I mean he does get a lot of girls, is it okay that I am the one he is texting first everyday, asking to hang out and come over, telling me that he is having an amazing time with him, and cuddling with him during the night.

 

I don't know, I am not used to this. I don't want to get attached and loose him to someone else. I don't want that to happen ever again.

 

You're not in the friendzone, your in the "benefits of a girlfirend, whenever he wants, with no committment" zone.

 

This guy is a player. Other women & his exes will always be around this guy. Why does he want to do all that stuff with you, but as a friend? So you don't get in the way of him chasing other women when it suits him! "No other women will get in the way of what we have?" Ha! And the thing is, it's true, because you don't have a real, serious, committed relationship with him, and he doesn't plan on ever having that with you -- that's why he wants set up a casual sexual realtionship with you. "...we shoud be best friends (with sometimes benefits)." Translation: "I might want you as a no-hassle booty call now and then."

 

This guy is so NOT serious about you, not as a girlfriend or as a real friend. There are tons of guys like this out there, and they break a lot of women's hearts. You're already attached and obviously want something more formal, like publically being girlfriend/boyfriend, but he doesn't want that, and he's not going to give it to you. It's up to you what to do, but I suggest stop wasting your time and cut this guy off. He will never be a true friend. But you don't have to take my word for it -- Google "Baggage Reclaim" to find a really great dating advice blog that discusses guys like this and get a different perspective on your situation. Believe me, this guy is NOT worth it.