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Afraid that I might be losing a friend due to growing up


daddyslilqt3

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daddyslilqt3

[font=arial][/font][color=violet][/color] Ok... I need some help... see me and my friend have been friends for a few years I was in 7th and she was in 6th when we met. We met b/c our brothers had become really good friends. I am now in 10th grade and she is now in 9th. Once she hit high school she kind of changed. She has gotten a little bit more wild... drinkin... goin to parties... gettin high. I am just not like that at all. I am really into school and care about my life. I am not sayin that I am an angel or that I don't go to parties but I am not a wild kid. She has just changed lately and I dunno what to do. I feel like we are drifting apart. We never had anything in common but when we were younger we somehow always had fun. We were always laughing and felt close. She means a lot to me... She is my best friend... Lately I have started to think that maybe we aren't meant to be friends for a long time. I told her what I thought about us drifitng apart and she agreed. She thought that if we spent more time together then everythin would be fine.. We already spend a lot of time together so I don't see how it could help. I feel like in a way this friendship breakup is inevitable. I dunno please tell me I am wrong. I am afraid that we are not the same people and that we are just losing each other a little more everyday. Maybe we are just both afraid of change. Tell me what to do... 1) try and keep this friendship from failing, 2) doing what she says by spending more time together, or 3) tell her that we have to end it or maybe spend some time apart.... please help me!

Amanda

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reasontosigh

Recognizing that which is inevitable is always painful. I sympathize, but better that you are figuring this out now than later on - like your senior year, when you will have more than enough to deal with getting through all that needs to be taken care of in that year to prepare for the future.

 

It seems that she cares enough about you too still, so this certainly is worth trying to salvage. Change can be scary, but I think for this to work, you are both going to have to recognize some change will be needed so that things don't blow apart entirely. In a way you could say she has started to do this already, even though you don't care for the people she has chosen to hang out with. I'm guessing she has given this some thought already, considering you are the one who will be graduating first.

 

What you need to do is this: do continue to spend time with her, but also make friends among your classmates. When the two of you get together you can spend time catching up with each other on the new things going on in your lives, after taking in a movie or something. Make it a regular thing, once a week or every couple of weeks - whatever works best for both of you.

 

In other words, use this period of transition to build a bridge for the years to come.

 

Best of luck to both of you.

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daddyslilqt3

Thx for the help..... I talked to her about it again and we seemed to go right back to where we were.... where we always are.... it just changes when she does the stupidest things with these stupid friends.... See she doesn't like to talk about anything serious and when I do talk to her she either trys to make the topic funny or change the subject or is like "amanda we talked about this already"... what to do, what to do.

 

I think that we are going to be ok... the way we talked yesterday we sounded fine.... I don't know... I just feel like I c/ get past it b/c she is not the same person... I dunno if I am just holding on to this idea and not letting go or if I should just act like we always do... I have just changed I thinknd and so has she :(

 

I am gonna try to give it another chance but in a way subconsciously I don't know if my mind is made up on what we can be... so confused

 

Amanda.... comment please

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Darkangelism

People grow apart unfortunatly, besides talking to her there is little you can do, i wish their had been for me, i let my friend grow apart and he died of a drug overdose. If she is into hardcore drugs then tell somebody, she will be mad at you, but she will be alive.

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