Best Friend is NOT paying rent

[RhapsodyinBlue]

So my best friend from DC told me he had gotten into a fashion school here in LA called FIDM. Since he told me he'd be taking out a loan and he'd have some left over money to take care of expenses, I told him he could stay with me.

 

Needless to say, my friend got here September 1st and all of a sudden his plans changed. I have a one bedroom and he stays in the living room.

 

I am having a hard time paying rent and just lost my part-time job and I am a student myself. It's December 17th and he still has NO job. I had a long talk with him a month ago and told him I didn't feel like he was trying hard enough. He won't admit it, but he is picky about where he wants to work. He is a photographer but doesn't even advertise his services???

 

I'm getting FED up. He could've been working at McDonalds or somewhere to bring in some extra cash. He has NO social life and is always in the apartment.

 

His stay has gone longer than expected and I am on the verge of telling him that I think this roommate situation is not working out. I'm a pretty private person and I've given up my personal space so that he can get on his feet. But I'm not getting anything in return.

 

I feel like he'd rather sit on his ass and not work at particular jobs while I struggle to pay the bills. Needless to say, if rent doesn't get paid then guess what? Both of our asses are out of here. I sort of feel responsible for the both of us which is causing me a lot of depression. I have other issues going on and I just finished finals. So I am literally wiped out.

 

 

I thought our first talk would get through his head, but he's waiting on this imaginary dream job to come through. He needs to know he has to pay his dues like everyone else.

 

 

What do you guys think? Do you think enough is enough?

 

Honestly, I don't want a roommate anymore. I've given up my space for 3 and a half months and I'm ready to live alone again. Sometimes the company is nice, but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.

[queenofswords]

It's a difficult situation to deal with. You may try to kick him out but it may be as pointless as discussions with him as he will use the same arguments all over again - that he is looking for a job but it's not easy blahblahblah.

I think I would either find another place to live or simply tell him that you found a cheaper place and he must find something for himself within a month as the new place is not big enough for 2 people.

Give him a well defined timeline to get out of there, otherwise it will never end. Or you could change locks after that date.

To be honest he will probably find another helpful friend rather than a job, I have met a few people like this there is always someone who will react on a false victim at least it won't be you.

[RhapsodyinBlue]

It's a difficult situation to deal with. You may try to kick him out but it may be as pointless as discussions with him as he will use the same arguments all over again - that he is looking for a job but it's not easy blahblahblah.

I think I would either find another place to live or simply tell him that you found a cheaper place and he must find something for himself within a month as the new place is not big enough for 2 people.

Give him a well defined timeline to get out of there, otherwise it will never end. Or you could change locks after that date.

To be honest he will probably find another helpful friend rather than a job, I have met a few people like this there is always someone who will react on a false victim at least it won't be you.

 

 

 

I am his only friend here in LA. He's from the East coast. He has no friends or social life which is why he's ALWAYS here. I won't kick him out but I'm definitely going to give him a timeline. If anything, he'd probably have to go back home. I'm going to baby anyone. He's a man and will need to look after himself. I've done enough pacifying and playing Mr. Nice guy.

 

His excuses may have worked in the past, but I haven't seen ZERO improvement including advertising his services, contacting his school's career center (which he said he'd do and still hasn't done yet) and he's not even using the few connections he made here to get potential jobs.

 

He knows my lease ends in May and I refuse to lie to him. I'm going to be straight up BUT not abrasive. I'm really coming from a place of concern. He came out here to start a new beginning and live his dreams but he's putting forth minimal effort to make it happen. He may be overwhelmed, but it's almost been 4 months.

[writergal]

I am his only friend here in LA. He's from the East coast. He has no friends or social life which is why he's ALWAYS here. I won't kick him out but I'm definitely going to give him a timeline. If anything, he'd probably have to go back home. I'm going to baby anyone. He's a man and will need to look after himself. I've done enough pacifying and playing Mr. Nice guy.

 

His excuses may have worked in the past, but I haven't seen ZERO improvement including advertising his services, contacting his school's career center (which he said he'd do and still hasn't done yet) and he's not even using the few connections he made here to get potential jobs.

 

He knows my lease ends in May and I refuse to lie to him. I'm going to be straight up BUT not abrasive. I'm really coming from a place of concern. He came out here to start a new beginning and live his dreams but he's putting forth minimal effort to make it happen. He may be overwhelmed, but it's almost been 4 months.

 

I was in your exact situation when I was an undergraduate college student. The way I protected myself financially was that I got my friend to sign a roommate agreement, which stated in writing that she agreed to pay half the rent and half the bills, and that if she violated the roommate agreement at any time, that gave me the ability to evict her. I got the agreement notarized too and co-signed by my landlord at the time.

 

At first my friend refused to sign the agreement. But when she realized she had no where else to go she signed it. It was a stressful six months too because I had to still nag her to pay her share of rent and bills, but she did it. She went out and got a coffee shop job while I attended classes full time and worked two part-time jobs. Our friendship ended shortly after that, however, because she did owe me some money that she never repaid me and I vowed I would never let a friend live with me ever again.

 

I would suggest you draw up a notarized roommate agreement that outlines your conditions for living with you (notarized means it will hold up in small claims court, even better if you can get your roommate to co-sign your apartment lease). Then give your friend a timeline. Tell him, he has such-and-such time to find a job, and needs to start paying his share of rent, bills, etc. or you will evict him.

 

There has to be short-term apartments in your area too, where your friend can pay by the night. I am pretty sure that every city has short-term apartments. Just look on the Internet for any that might be listed in your city and offer that as an alternative to living with you when the time comes for your friend to leave.

 

Good luck. Your friend sounds like a mooch.

[Almond_Joy]

Best thing would have been to have your friend sign it before he moved in. But that's the past.

 

Get one drawn up, and make it an ultimatum. Either he signs it and abides by it or you evict him now. (...Maybe after Christmas now now might be a little cruel) Times are too rough for anyone to be slacking off like that, especially if a friend's gone out of their way to help them get on their feet.

 

I used the LawDepot website - they have a customizable agreement template that covers all the basics, then you just add any clauses or bits that are applicable to your situation.

[UpwardForward]

3-1/2 months? Even if he comes up w a partial payment, you may never get the remainder.

 

He has no renters rights. Do not have him sign an agreement or you may be good and stuck.

 

If you tell him you want your space back, he will most likely bargain with you for more time. Give him the minimal time you feel necessary. If you feel you will be jeopardized by him staying after you give notice - or if he doesn't leave on time, at first opportunity - you may need to put his things outside the house and change the locks.

 

May sound terrible, but once a deadbeat always one.

[RhapsodyinBlue]

So I had a big talk with him on Monday and we got EVERYTHING out. We are still on good terms and he got a job offer the next thing.

 

I am NOT looking for him to pay half or even backpay for the all the months he has stayed here. I agreed to open up my home to him and told him he could stay with me a couple of months until he got on his feet. I guess I should have been more specific when I said "a couple of months" and given him a deadline.

 

We agreed that the first of February would be a fair deadline. He said I should've known that he was going to give me something once he found a job. The truth is: a) I didn't know how long it would take him to find a job and b) whenever I addressed finances he would also become quiet as a church mouse.

 

Regardless, this whole situation is squashed and I have learned my lesson.