BassWalker Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Yesterday, I got the news that one of my old friends passed away. I haven't decided if I'm going to attend the funeral. The situation: I haven't spoken with him since 1999. However, we were good friends. We trying to become millionaires with a couple of inventions and if we hadn't had a down turn, I think we would've succeeded. What happened was I introduced to him to a girl that I had dated before, and they fell in love. He was constantly thanking me afterwards. Tragically, his girlfriend died in a car accident and he basically lost his mind. He was set up in some kind of hospice center. I didn't think it would be a good idea to visit until he improved. He never did, he somehow managed to commit suicide. I'm leaning on not going to the funeral because it was just a sad time and no need to rehash it. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
RegSinfield Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 If he was your good friend (as you said) I don't think you should miss his funeral. Break ups do occur in relationships, but when someone has died, I think one needs to forget old things. My suggestion would be that you should attend his funeral. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Go. His family will appreciate it and this way you get to have some closure and a goodbye. And maybe share a few stories about him afterwards if they is a gathering at the Church or back at a family members house. It is sad, but that shouldn't hold you back from going. Funerals aren't fun and depending on who it is that passed away, it is quite painful. You might regret not going. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 If you can muster up just one good story or thought to share with his family, it would be a wonderful and giving thing for you to do. No one is going to ask you where you've been, they will definitely appreciate your being there. Since he was so sad and out of life for so long...there won't be many there who knew him. Go for his family. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Go, even in that small post of yours there are some pleasant memories of him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michal2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 I think you must have to go and Join the funeral. after-all he is your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 It might be tactful to approach the family and ask if they would mind you attending.... Link to post Share on other sites
coffeebean201 Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Do you feel the need to say goodbye? When I'm shocked by a friend's death I like to go to the funeral. It helps me process that they are really gone. The grief of the family is something I'm not sure I'm supposed to see when I'm just a family friend. Do what feels right for you. Funerals tend to be sombre. Good people and good food. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 A close friend of mine died earlier this year and they didn't have a funeral, just a very private immediate family only cremation. While I respect thats what the family wanted, it was very hard to just carry on as if nothing had happened. I didn't ever feel like I said goodbye or got closure of any kind, and I know other friends felt the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 I think it would have been nice to say goodbye to your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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