I hate that he couldn't appreciate what he had

[Inflikted]

I've known this one guy for a while now. I've always tolerated him, but the truth is, I've never really liked him. He's the cocky douchebag "player" type that never really shuts up about how awesome, attractive, and cool he is. I've had to listen to him brag a lot about how easy it is for him to get girls, and he's told me countless stories about girls he's wooed, including some pretty expletive stuff.

 

Am I "jealous" of him? Well... Only in the fact that girls buy into his act so easily. I understand the whole "confidence" thing, but there's a line between "confident" and "arrogant", and he's pretty clearly beyond that line. I may not "ooze charisma", but I think I'm a pretty good, cool guy; I try to be funny, playful, and charming, but I take a more modest approach. So, it does confuse me a bit that I'm still not apparently "attractive" enough for girls to want to date, and hearing him constantly brag about his exploits is more than frustrating.

 

As many of you that have followed my posts may know, I finally found a cool, smart, mature girl that I really felt a connection with. She turned me down, though, and while I'm still working on getting past my feelings for her, I'm very much still cool with her. I found out recently, though, that some time before I ever developed an interest in her, she dated this other guy for a little while. It ended badly when she found out he was seeing another girl at the same time.

 

When I first found out that they dated, I was a bit hurt (not by her, just hurt, in general). It made me pretty sad that she was willing to give him a chance, but not me. In a way it still stings. But recently, my feelings have started to turn to anger towards this guy. I mean, he has no idea how I feel/ felt about this girl, and I'm not directly expressing anger to him. But I still feel anger, nonetheless.

 

Why the anger? Because I constantly have to hear him bragging about all the girls he gets. Then I finally find one girl I like, and he still "wins" over me, in her eyes. People like who they like, whatever. But what really irritates me is that he couldn't even appreciate what he had. He had an awesome girl willing to date him, but apparently that wasn't good enough for him. I just hate the fact that he "won" her, but apparently didn't even care enough to treat her right. If she wanted to date him, and if she really thought he was someone special, great, good for her, but I can't help but be super angry that he couldn't have tried harder to make it work with her.

[bostonterrier]

I see...leave him alone;)

[IfiKnewThen]

i think what u feel is natural. it sounds like u really care for her and would at least want the best for her and u just merely feel hes not the best...based on how he comes across. but there's really nothing u can do but wait it out. his truel nature will surface and become apparent to her. just be a friend and supportive...if and when she snaps out of it she will likely turn to u.

 

but your feelings are normal just don't obsess on them, that's not healthy or normal.