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Dreading the inevitable goodbye...


Inflikted

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Some of you may have read my previous topic(s) in the past about a girl I've known from work for over a year, and fell for pretty hard this past summer. Long story short, she turned me down, I was sad, but our friendship didn't change, and I've made peace with her decision.

 

Anyway, she's going to be finishing college in the next few weeks, and I assume within the next month or two, she's going to be leaving for a new, better job. I've been trying to just enjoy the little time I get to spend with her until then, but as the clock keeps ticking down, so to speak, it's getting harder and harder to not think about her being gone.

 

Thing is, I don't "connect" very well with people, in general, so I don't have much of a social life beyond some acquaintances. But I've felt a "connection" with this girl for a while now that I've never felt with someone before. Regardless of whether her and I are dating or not, I love spending time with her, talking to her, etc. There's no one in the world I trust more than her, no one I'd rather hang around with.

 

Granted, I'm (rightfully) probably not at that level for her, especially considering we very rarely see each other outside of work. That's the thing, though, I just... I wish we were better friends outside of work, so that when she does inevitably leave, it's not "goodbye", we could still talk, hang out, etc.

 

The thought of losing the little I currently have with her is pretty sad. I mean, who knows when (or if) I'll ever connect with someone so well again? She could potentially be one of the best friends I'll ever have, and the thought of her just being gone in the next month or two really bums me out.

 

But, I'm going out for my birthday in a few weeks, and she's definitely interested in coming along, so I'm very excited about that, but it's bittersweet in that it's likely going to be the last time I get to spend time with her outside of work.

 

I know it is what it is, and it's out of my control, it just makes me... sad.

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What do you mean by 'turned down'? Did you try to reveal your feelings for her? I don't remember your previous post.

 

If it is so, it was bad for you to continue friendship with her again. On the other hand she shouldn't have done it either.

 

I feel you should end this friendship at least now.

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I asked her out on a date a couple months ago. She had some reservations, because she said she had bad experiences dating coworkers in the past, but said she would think about it. I saw her a couple weeks later, and she had a really cool conversation with me about it, where she said she's just too focused on finishing school (she's getting her masters degree) right now to "date".

 

See, though, it's hard to "not be friends", because we work together, meaning we have to spend some time around each other. We just get along so well that it's hard to stay away from her, avoid her, not talk to her, etc. Heck, most times when we work together at night, it's become sort of our "tradition" to clean up and straighten up my department together. It's difficult to stop those little "moments" from happening, yanno? And I don't want to stop them.

 

Like I said, we just "click" so well. Do I wish things could've worked out between us "romantically"? Sure. But I'm... okay with just being friends with her. I don't want her out of my life completely.

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OK, so she is available and not in a relationship. She was not ready at the time you proposed her.

 

If you want to continue with her keep contact when after she leaves. You won't be her co-worker anymore. Then see what happens.

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Yeah, it's just difficult to figure out what to do because I don't really know how she feels about me. I feel like, if I pursue a friendship outside of work in any way, no matter what, she'd think I'm "hung up" on her, desperately trying to cling to her in hopes of a relationship forming, or whatever.

 

And while dating her is never "off the table" on my end, I don't want her to think that I'm still pining after her in hopes she'll change her mind and want to date me.

 

But she's... kinda tough to read. After she turned down my date a couple months ago, neither of us have brought it up or talked about it in any way since then. So, like I said, I have no idea what she thinks of me, and I don't even know if she knows where I'm "at" with the whole thing.

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Well, I understand you.

 

Once turned down, you don't want to get your self esteem down again. Does she consider you more than a friend? How does she behave when she's with you? It seems she also doesn't want to make the first move.

 

 

Just try to get closer after she leaves. Don't scare her off. Then if the response is good flirt a little. I think you shouldn't hurry up anything.

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